mischief rewind
by Greylle
Summary: timeslip story, with a god of mischief providing the change. Naruto makes plans for things to go close to original, unfortunately those plans quickly veer off the road and fall off a cliff.
1. Chapter 1: Be kind, rewind

_Future:_

*Naruto Uzumaki.*

"Go away. I'm dead you know. Let the dead rest in peace and all that."

*Is this how you wanted it to end?*

"I want you to go away. Besides, isn't there supposed to be a white light or unending darkness? What's with multicolored lights and a little ball that has mirror tiles pasted all over it?"

*There is life, and there is what one wants. How often do the two intersect?*

"You're not going to just leave me alone, are you?"

*Nope.*

"Fine, fine. Yeesh. What is this, some sort of afterlife interview? I just wanted to see them all again."

*Something like that. You died, your story finished. A bit of a Gainax ending actually.*

"What's a 'gainax'?"

*You died in ninja fashion, accomplishing your mission but not exactly a happy ending. You weren't able to save all your friends though, were you?*

"I'd cuss you out, but I have a feeling that if this is a test - that'd flunk me."

*Okay, this has gone on long enough. What you experienced was called a timeline. You were born, grew up the pariah with a kyuubi sealed in your belly, had a friend and rival who turned to the dark side of the chakra, had a girl with serious self-confidence issues who loved you but could never say it unless she thought she was about to die, went through more pain and suffering and betrayal, and finally managed to be seen as a hero by your peer group up until your death. That was how things went. Yet, it is not necessarily how things must remain.*

"What? You gonna rewind time or something so I can undo the past?"

*Yes, actually.*

"I was kidding."

*I was not. It appears in another neighboring timeline, a lesser god named Etragar did something along those lines. I find the idea intriguing.*

"Etragar? A lesser god?"

*Etragar is a god of another universe entirely. His main areas of expertise and power are: healing, love, kindness, marriage, and spirit. His wife is the goddess of protection, nurturing, defense, and skill-of-arms. They are minor godlings in comparison to myself, with very limited amounts of power that either can wield. Great power by mortal standards, perhaps. I suspect that Etragar has seen me meddle with timelines before and his very human curiosity moved him to try it himself. Interesting that it took him this long. In the ninefold paths, his is considered the path of 'Neutral Good' while mine is more 'Chaotic Neutral.'*

"I got less than half of that. You're serious, though? I can get a 'do-over'?"

*All you have to do is agree. It might be amusing. Among other things, I am a god of mischief. And you ARE somewhat mischievous yourself. The potential for pranks in creating a time loop are quite intriguing.*

"So... you can do it, but you're doing it for laughs?"

*Yes. Do you have a problem with that?*

"No, actually. It makes more sense than just about anything else. On the other hand, I want to make a few suggestions."

*Oh? The basics that I'm offering is that you'll be looped back into your own time axis. So your memories and experience will be in your younger body. The kyuubi will know immediately that something has happened, of course.*

"Yeah, yeah, but this is what I want to do."

Toltiir listened briefly, then grinned. He rather liked humans with a sense of humor. They could be sometimes quite clever. Appealing to the possibilities of the extra pranking potential was certainly showing some insight.

*Very well then. It is certainly within my capacity, and it may be amusing if you can pull it off.*

"If? If?! I'll have you know, oh god of mischief, that I am the SAGE of pranks."

Toltiir decided good enough. The local gods weren't going to interfere since this would screw with Orochimaru, who had a chance of eventually reaching godhood himself if nothing went wrong. That possibility did not sit well with those very gods, of course.

As for the itty bitty change, well by his own standards of course, that was that Naruto's transformation technique was improved just a little bit. It had to be good enough to fool people with the Byakugan and Sharingan after all.

* * *

Naruto grinned. He'd figured that when he heard this 'god' talk about mischief, that a good prank would appeal to it. That the prank would potentially solve a few problems was entirely beside the point if it could be funny and be pulled on LOTS of people at the same time.

He was seven years old, and there was no way at that point he could pull this off without help. Even if his mind and memories had been transplanted into his younger self, Naruto knew he'd have to fool a lot of people with special eye abilities.

There wasn't a way in his lifetime to keep the Uchiha Coup from being planned or launched. It had been mentioned that it had been coming since before Kakashi himself made genin. Which meant that the Uchiha Massacre that had occurred when he was seven was something else he couldn't prevent.

That aside, having Itachi Uchiha use Madara Uchiha's assistance in destroying the clan would not be in anyone's interests. Particularly if Sasuke followed the same traumatic path he had the original night. Something else was required.

Hence this prank, this lovely little prank, pulled not only on an irate Sasuke (who was now chasing a shadow clone which was itself henge-disguised as Sakura Haruno who was squealing about getting her Sasuke-sama's boxers) but on most of the village and beyond. Another shadow clone (disguised as Sasuke) had shown up in the woman's baths at the hot springs and snapped a few quick pictures.

Naruto's grin went to a smirk as his shadow clone fell into step behind Sasuke and then dispersed. Leaving Sakura waving around Sasuke's boxers and proclaiming her joy at this event, followed by Sasuke, followed by a large number of hastily-clad and irate women.

Naruto grinned as part two came into play. There was no way a seven year old boy could beat Itachi.

A sufficiently powerful trap using a genjutsu and a trap door, that was another thing. Especially after Itachi was already pretty darn worn out from his fights.

"Centerfold jutsu!" called out the real Naruto, taking the form of a teenage girl. "Shapeshift!" Now that he looked like Orochimaru, it was show time.

* * *

Madara looked around, currently in his Tobi mask, and wondered what had happened. Suddenly Itachi was gone, his chakra presence completely masked. Was this a betrayal of their agreement?

"Kukukukuku," came a familiar laugh.

Madara winced, as he now had to play the part of the idiot Tobi as Orochimaru didn't know yet. Hardly an ideal time. "Orochimaru-sama?! You are here to help Tobi?"

"What are YOU doing here, Tobi?" asked 'Orochimaru.' "Don't get in my way."

"Eh?" asked Tobi. "Tobi doesn't understand."

"That's hardly new," drily said Orochimaru, eyeing the procession coming their way. Leaping to the gate to the Uchiha compound, he pointed at the crowd just as 'Sakura' tripped, fell down a stairs, and poofed into smoke. "STOP!"

Incredibly enough, the group DID stop, to stare up at him.

"OROCHIMARU?!" screamed Anko, dropping her towel and wishing she'd brought more weapons.

"Kukukuku," said Orochimaru, his tongue briefly hanging down to his navel. "Don't interfere with me. I have just killed all the Uchiha! Now there is only that delicious-looking young boy. I'll have those lovely eyes as well."

"Killed?" asked Sasuke, running towards his house. "MOTHER! FATHER!"

Orochimaru started dodging as Anko, Kurenai, and a half dozen ninja of various other rankings began throwing attacks his way. Perfect.

"AGGHHH!" yelled Tobi as HE was suddenly under attack from a number of other outraged ninja. "Orochimaru-sama! This really isn't a wise plan!"

"Oh, you know I simply can't resist young boys," said Orochimaru, licking his lips. "I beat that Toad Hermit in pervertedness too. Still, you might be right. We'll just come back at a more opportune time."

* * *

Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, stared. "Orochimaru?"

Anko, now as dressed as she ever got, nodded alongside the other women.

Sarutobi puffed once on his pipe, sufficiently rattled he didn't even notice it wasn't lit. "Orochimaru killed the Uchiha Clan with the exception of Sasuke Uchiha?"

More nods.

"Admitted this in front of witnesses?" asked the Hokage.

"And that he likes playing with the bodies of underage boys," pointed out a matronly sort of woman in the crowd.

"I see," said the Hokage.

"So he's not only an S-class missing nin, but he's an S-class missing nin child molesting murderer," helpfully pointed out another matron.

"I run a print shop," said one of the other women. "I can make fliers up with his likeness and a list of crimes."

"I see," said the Hokage, knowing that something was going on.

"We can start collecting money towards a reward on that snake's head," suggested another woman.

"ooooh," said several of the women.

"That poor boy," said one of the women. "I was ready to put him over one knee, but to lose his whole family and then have some monster-pervert declare he's after that child's body."

Everyone, including the Hokage, shuddered at various images conjured forth by that idea.

* * *

"Tobi really doesn't understand this," said Madara, scratching his head and looking out over Konoha. He certainly hadn't expected torch-bearing mobs.

He couldn't find hide or hair of Orochimaru, of course. Not that this was necessarily strange. Like his snakes, Orochimaru tended to slither away to lick wounds.

It was kind of odd though. Orochimaru should have been able to kill everyone involved and then go off on his own. Oh, wait a minute.

Madara nodded. No doubt Orochimaru had doubled back and was stealing eyes even now. Well, that made sense.

Best to head back and see if Itachi was keeping his part of the bargain.

* * *

Going through the next day, Naruto had been exhausted to the point where he didn't NEED to hold back in order to be a screwup.

Of course, all the kids knew was that something had gone on.

The adults knew something was going on, but weren't entirely sure WHAT yet.

Apparently Itachi Uchiha HAD thrown off the genjutsu but was so exhausted from its effects that he was still in the hospital. And very very confused as he hadn't even known that Orochimaru had returned to Konoha in order to slaughter the entire Uchiha clan and do naughty things with his little brother. No matter how many times it was explained to him, he still was apparently quite confused about it.

Well, it HAD been a pretty strong genjutsu. The doctors said it was all pretty much a side effect of that kind of thing.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha was pretty traumatized. He also glared a lot at a number of his fangirls and any other potential underwear thieves. He had been mainly glaring at Sakura Haruno, but that changed when Ino Yamanaka opened her school bag and pulled out a pair of boxer short style underwear.

Oh sure, both of them claimed to be innocent. Both knew the Clone technique though so their alibis were suspect. Maybe they WERE innocent though, and one of the OTHER fangirls was trying to get rid of the competition. That was actually admirable in a sneaky underhanded ninja sort of way, if personally quite annoying.

* * *

Naruto considered that not all of his pranks were going as well as he'd planned.

Sasuke had shown up for school three days after the Massacre, Ino's schoolbag had been unattended at one point, and eventually she pulled out this little balled up piece of cloth while talking with her friends and discovered that it was indeed a pair of Uchiha clan boxers. Easily identifiable with the little Uchiha crest on them.

Now all of Sasuke's rabid fangirls were being viewed with a great deal of annoyance and disgust by: Sasuke, each other, a good portion of the community, the teachers.

On the good side, by not being obvious in his pranks and knuckling down and studying, he wasn't getting quite as much disgust and hate directed at HIM - mainly because everyone was focussing on other things at the moment. It wouldn't last of course, he'd gotten a similar break when events had unfolded the first lifetime through.

When things were sufficiently settled, Naruto figured he'd get back to his 'class clown/dead last' image - no matter how distasteful some of it was. If he was caught by anyone he'd just explain he was being a proper ninja and concealing stuff to get an advantage over everyone else later. He suspected Shikamaru, maybe Shino, Iruka-sensei possibly, would eventually notice something and confront him.

Well, cross that bridge when he came to it.


	2. Chapter 2: On the road to Suna

written for the Anime Addventure where i publish under Kestral.

Kishimoto writes/owns Naruto, cause if it were mine - Hinata would be pulling out an 8 trigrams 64 palms and flattening Sasuke in the near-future.

Chapter 2: On The Road To Suna

Naruto went from training area to training area. He'd been with ANBU for a little while (had it really been three years?) after he'd survived a particularly bad period (that still caused him to wake up with a tear-stained pillow on occasion) and was aware of the hidden police force. Not that they were especially keeping an eye on him, but it was best to take no chances.

He stopped on hearing a sniffle, then investigated.

There was a little girl with familiar blue-black hair, sitting with her back to a tree. She'd buried her face in her knees and was trying to be quiet, but the occasional sniffle or sob would escape.

Naruto blinked and considered what sort of actions to take, but remembering what came later in life - and particularly certain revelations MUCH later - decided he really didn't have a choice.

* * *

She was worthless. Garbage. A failure. Weak.

Her father had told her this for several years now.

It would have been better that she was never born. She wouldn't be such a disappointment to anyone. She wouldn't be in the way.

She was unloved, unneeded, useless.

Why were the gods so cruel as to bring her into this world?

"Don't cry."

That was right, she was a Hyuga and she was supposed to be a warrior born. A Hyuga shouldn't be out here by herself crying.

"Don't cry, err, little girl."

Hinata startled as she realized she wasn't alone after all. When she raised her head, all she could see was a blur at first.

"Oh hockey-puck, let me clean you up some."

Whoever it was, he gently used a piece of cloth to wipe away tears and running nose.

"There you go," said the young boy, pressing the cloth into her hands. "Much cuter."

_Cute?_ went the thought into the young girl's head. She couldn't be cute. Look at all the much prettier girls in the class she was in.

The blond boy sat back on his heels next to her and gave her a very concerned look. "Can you tell me what's wrong? Sometimes that kinda thing helps."

Hinata knew this was wrong. She couldn't let an outsider see her like this. She couldn't show how weak she was. It was shameful.

So burying her failure head on his shoulder, crying her worthless eyes out, holding onto the boy as her garbage body was wracked with sobbing was just absolutely positively the wrong thing to do.

After some amount of time though, she noticed she was being held and she was feeling better somehow.

"It's okay," said the boy, clumsily patting her on the back. "You're not worthless to ME."

Hinata's eyes snapped all the way open. Had she been revealing her shame to this stranger? With some reluctance, she pushed herself out of the grip and looked at him anew. It was that boy that so many of the teachers hated. The blond boy with the foxy grin who was such a poor student.

"I -" said Hinata, wondering how to take this boy insisting she wasn't a failure.

"Hey, I'll be your friend," tried Naruto. "That means you're important to me, how's that?"

"I'm so sorry," said Hinata, fleeing.

* * *

"Well, that didn't go well at all," mused Naruto as the girl fled back towards the Hyuga compound. She still had his hankerchief, he had slobber and snot and tears decorating one shoulder of his shirt, and Hinata had gone running off.

No, this hadn't gone well.

Seeing all of those who'd died before him alive again, he couldn't help but have it move his heart. Especially her, knowing what he'd know later on. Except that now he'd apparently blown THAT too.

"Just great," grumbled Naruto, as he went back to avoidance training and physical conditioning. Oh, and he had to find alternate food sources. Jiraiya-sensei and many others had repeatedly thrown his dependence on ramen as a reason he hadn't grown to the extent that Lee or some of the others had. He'd had more than enough jokes about his being so short compared to everyone else.

Which meant he had to be a better cook, because he sure couldn't eat out as much. Not with all the overly exaggerated prices that were charged him by all the people who hated him for being a demon fox.

First though, he'd head back home and he'd change his shirt.

* * *

Sakura was heartbroken.

Sasuke Uchiha was so cool and tragic and handsome and everything. She was only one of several girls who flocked to their school's "prince."

Unfortunately, that had backfired BIG TIME.

Now everyone agreed that it had to have been one of them who'd done it and screwed up all of their chances.

Naruto? No, Naruto couldn't have pulled it off. That would be silly. No, it HAD to be one of the really skilled ninja students.

"Uhm, Sasuke-kun," began Sakura, trying yet again to indicate her innocence.

"Don't care, go away," said Sasuke, not even looking at her. "You annoy me."

Acting as if slapped, Sakura turned her attention back to her classwork as she had the past few days.

She was aware that Naruto had abruptly stopped asking her out. Was she so spurned now that even the other pariahs weren't associating with her?

* * *

A terribly shy girl watched out of the corner of her eyes, tapping two fingers together and trying to look just about anywhere except directly at a certain boy.

There was that boy from last night. One of her classmates. Now that she wasn't embarassed, crying, and emotionally in turmoil (at least more than usual) she could see him clearly. That she'd been right as to his identity last night. The least impressive, loudest, stubbornest, student in class. Naruto Uzumaki.

Twice she almost approached him to give him back his hankerchief. Now washed, of course. Least she could do.

Of course, her nerve had failed. He'd probably reveal the whole thing was a prank or joke and he really did see her as useless.

Still, he had seemed honest.

So maybe he bore watching, and that was a Hyuga clan specialty.

* * *

_December 27_

She had been observing him for quite some time and now felt she knew the little boy well enough to have a few conclusions.

One - he was not a cruel person despite being treated poorly by nearly everyone. This meant, most likely, that when they'd first met - he had actually meant those things he'd said to her. Which was that she was cute, important to him, and that he considered her his friend.

Two - he was a class clown and dead last in skills, something the teachers were particularly prone to point out to the rest of the class. He was the bad example everyone could be goaded into doing better than. This was not true when he was off by himself though, as he was constantly pushing himself and could do some pretty amazing things when he thought he was alone.

Three - he was capable of detecting her watching him with Byakugan if she was within half a mile. She'd had to improve her Byakugan range and duration to keep watching him without him noticing.

Hiding behind a tree, she watched from a distance as Naruto did one handed pushups. What made it really impressive was that he was doing them from a one-handed handstand with his toes pointing straight up. Then he'd push off and do more of those odd pushups with the other hand. Hinata admired his ability to keep his balance with only some minor swaying and shaking when he did that.

When Naruto proclaimed in class that he would eventually be Hokage, Hinata was the only one who didn't laugh and call him names. When Naruto fumbled a jutsu and then made a joke about it, she knew he'd done that deliberately.

Sighing again, she dropped her Byakugan and rubbed her eyes. If her father asked, she'd say she was out training. She WAS training too, as keeping the boy from noticing she was watching was good training. He'd be finishing up soon, though it was odd he hadn't been using that Kage Bunshin technique. He usually had at least one clone going.

It was time to get back to the compound though. Though she did have to wonder why she smelled freshly baked cinnamon...

With 'happy birthday' written in icing, there was a large cinnamon roll on a paper plate next to her.

"BYAKUGAN!" called out Hinata, searching quickly.

Naruto was giving a high-five to a shadow clone which poofed out a moment later.

Birthdays were something commoners celebrated. Celebrating such occasions were a weakness that a warrior clan like the Hyuga wouldn't participate in. Stoic, logical, cold, strong - these were the qualities of the Hyuga. It was beneath their dignity and their clan status.

"How?" asked Hinata, flopping back down onto her buttocks and staring at the pastry. How did he know her birthday? How did he know where she was? How did he know that cinnamon buns were one of her favorite foods? How did he sneak up on her?!

She felt tears gathering up in her eyes, blurring the image of the pastry sitting there. The 'how' were questions she didn't have answers to. The 'why' though - she found she knew the answer to that already.

She, the worthless piece of trash her father was threatening to pass over for the heir position, was considered a valuable friend to someone.

* * *

"She's crying again?" asked Naruto when one of his other shadow clones dissipated to report in. "How did I screw THAT up?"

Naruto puzzled over it for a time. Maybe she was on a diet or something? Girls could be funny about things like that.

Well, he'd try harder NEXT year.

* * *

_April 4_  
"A letter from the Leaf Village?" asked Kankuro. "That's weird."

"It's something to think about that doesn't involve sand whispering about blood and death," retorted Temari as she unfolded the letter. "Let's see. Huh. Kid heard I'm a Wind chakra user and apparently that's his elemental affinity too. Says here it's an opportunity to practice codes and... oh I see. He's got a message here besides the message, using the first letter of each word. Got it. Huh. Oh dear."

"Sounds logical on both fronts, and it IS an ally," agreed Kankuro. "We've got that whole treaty thing going after all. So what's the hidden message?"

"It's 'I know a master of sealing jutsu that I think can help your brother,'" said Temari.

"Waitaminute, some kid from another village knows about GAARA?!" asked Kankuro. "And is offering to HELP?"

"This is important information," mused the little girl. "So what do we do about it?"

"We're just kids, we haven't even made genin yet," said Kankuro. "We tell an adult."

"Who'll take control of all this and classify it an S-Class secret and such," pointed out Temari. "Whereas we can milk this source of information and maybe this kid actually DOES know something that can help Gaara."

"You think this is legit? Actually a kid of Konoha and not some Konoha spies trying to get information themselves?" asked Kankuro.

"Doubt it," said Temari. "Could be, but this kid's penmanship needs work. It also fits if he's one of those soft-living Leaf kids that maybe he's just repeating stuff he's heard and doesn't understand everything about it. If we turn our backs on this though, will we ever get another chance?"

* * *

Shikamaru Naru knew something was up. He'd known it for months. Go, shogi, and various other strategy games involved finding patterns and exploiting them. Tiresome as it was, when something broke patterns - he immediately started figuring out what had changed and tried to understand why.

Naruto Uzumaki, dead last in class, clown, loud and argumentitive idiot, was making several breaks in his usual patterns all at once.

First he was still a clown, still loud, but there was something odd about it all as if his heart wasn't in it. He also wasn't getting into arguments with Kiba, despite Kiba trying to get into arguments.

Shikamaru frowned as he watched the clouds. Naruto hadn't spent a lot of time arguing with ANYONE actually. He was avoiding them and had periods of contemplation.

Then there was the looks he sent towards that Hyuga kid, who tended to look everywhere else but looked at Naruto when he wasn't looking. If he didn't know better, he'd think that the Hyuga girl had a crush or something on Naruto. That was too ridiculous though, as every other girl he'd seen was suffering from fangirl-itis towards Sasuke Uchiha.

Yeesh, just the crowd surrounding Uchiha during kunai practice to praise him on performance had Shikamaru retreating from all the estrogen in the air. How tiring.

No, there was something going on. He wasn't sure what though, and that was annoying.

Maybe one of the times Naruto'd asked Sakura out and she'd hit him with the nearest blunt object, she'd somehow gotten his brain to start working? No, his grades would have improved if that had been the case.

Still, Naruto being quieter was welcome for the lowering of aggravation but was likely to change the expected patterns eventually.

It was all so troublesome.

* * *

_August 3rd_

"Another coded message, Hokage-sama!"

"Same code?" asked the Third Hokage.

"Yes sir," agreed the ANBU. "Using an old ANBU code that is only used rarely."

"Let me see this one," said Third Hokage.

Toad, Snake, Snail,  
Against two, one shall fail,  
The betrayer plots in noisy field,  
Against his plots, you mustn't yield.

"So what does it mean?" asked the ANBU.

"It means that Orochimaru is in a 'noisy field' and to successfully strike against him we would need the other two of the legendary Sages," said the Third. "Combined with the previous two messages, it would indicate that our message-leaving associate is at least against Orochimaru's side. That doesn't mean that he or she is on OUR side, of course."

* * *

_November 4th:_  
The Nine-tails stretched within its cage.

The sewer had gradually lightened, the sewage drained, and things had begun to get more comfortable.

"**Whelp? What are you doing? HOW are you doing it?**"

The boy stood before the gate that held the seal. "You are a force of rage and destruction, however someone pointed out to me that even then you can be bargained with. So here's the deal. You can sit there behind that door as is, or I can redecorate. Let you hear what I hear, see what I see, feel what I feel. The Eight-tails has a similar deal with its host."

"**You'd let me experience the world again?**" growled the Demon Fox. If it was in greater detail than the vague hints and images he'd gotten already, that made it tempting. "**What do YOU get out of the deal?**"

"You help me out," said Naruto. "If you get any of your freedom, don't hurt my friends."

"**You have no friends, whelp,**" responded the Nine-tailed Demon Fox.

"I have one," admitted Naruto. "I will protect her. I will get more. I will protect them too. I will do everything I can to help them and the people who trust in me."

The eyes in the cage narrowed. "**What kind of help are you talking about, whelp?**"

* * *

_December 27th_  
Hinata drew a deep breath. She was now ten years old. She was also hurting a great deal as various chakra points were closed off after the latest training session from her father.

That wasn't new though.

She was harder, leaner, stronger, taller, bustier...

Well, that wasn't anything she'd really worked on. Though it WAS one thing she noticed she had above the rest of her class. Though her father might have regarded it as inconsequential or even a detriment to martial arts skills.

Sitting down with her back against a tree, she had a quiet moment as she tried to relax. Then she could see if Naruto was... in the tree above her smiling down at her?!

"EEP!" managed Hinata Hyuga just before a gaily wrapped present was dropped down upon her.

_FAINT!_

"Oh HECK!" said Naruto, nearly falling out of the tree himself. "What was that for?"

"You... what are you doing with Hinata-sama?!" asked one of the Hyuga branch members as he looked down at the unconscious Hyuga heir and then at this boy.

"Giving her a birthday present, jackass," said the little boy.

"Oh," said the branch member, going silent for a moment. "Her family does not celebrate such things."

"I know," said Naruto. "That doesn't mean that I can't observe her birthday, does it? I ain't in her family!"

The branch member was silent for a moment, looking down at the package with its little ribbon and bow. "Good point."

"Eh?" asked Naruto.

"Your intentions regarding Hinata-sama?" asked the branch member.

"I'm her friend," said Naruto. "And if the Hyuga family don't allow friends, then I don't care! I'll be her friend anyway! You ain't got a say on that for me."

"I see," said the branch member of the Hyuga clan.

Hinata stirred, opening her eyes, then realizing that was Naruto up there talking to one of the branch family members. What was going on?

"You're a 'friend' of hers? Aren't you the Uzumaki boy?" asked the branch member.

"Yeah, and yeah," said Naruto. "She's my precious friend."

Eyes wide now, Hinata froze. _Naruto-kun considers me precious?!_

"You know that people tried to kidnap her once before, don't you?" asked the branch member. "What will you do if someone comes for her again?"

"I will protect her with my life," said Naruto, no trace of the prankster showing.

"I see," said the branch member, sounding very thoughtful. "You consider her to be 'precious' to you? Why?"

Naruto cocked his head at that. He was sure this was some kind of trick question, but what? Hmmm. Maybe. "She's cute, smart, and nice. In the future, I know she's going to be an AWESOME kunoichi. Believe it!"

Hinata blinked several times. _Cute? Smart? Nice? Awesome? He's not talking about ME is he? There are so many more attractive women, and my grades are third in the class - not first, and Father says nice is overrated. I need to be strong and ruthless, not relying on anyone._

"Hinata? Awesome?" asked the branch family member.

"Yeah!" said Naruto, warming to his subject. "I can just see her as she'll be in a few years. She'll be a Gentle Fist practitioner who kicks serious butt and will have other skills too! She'll have longer hair, and she'll be even cuter, and she'll come up with jutsu in her own ninja style!"

"You're going to make her 'awesome' somehow?" asked the branch member skeptically.

"No," said Naruto.

_I knew it. He doesn't think that, he's just being nice._ Hinata closed her eyes, willing the ground to just swallow her up.

"SHE is gonna make herself an awesome kunoichi," continued Naruto. "If she wants my help, she's got it, but it's all her - she's the one who decides what path she's going to take. If she wants to be a medic-nin, she could be an AWESOME medic-nin like Tsunade. If she wants to go as a reconn specialist, she could be thoroughly awesome at THAT too. Believe it!"

Hinata's eyes opened again and focussed on the boy. _Almost. When I hear him say that with that conviction. I can almost believe it myself._

* * *

_June 4:_  
"Okay, Naruto, spill it!" said Iruka-sensei. "I know you know better on this test. You crossed off the right answers on three questions to write in wrong ones!"

Naruto winced. He knew he was slipping up on occasion. How to cover his lapses? Maybe just enough truth to mislead? "Uhm. Iruka-sensei. This is all S-class secrets. I can't even tell myself this stuff."

"Oh?" asked Iruka.

"There are people who don't like me, LOTS of people," said Naruto with all the seriousness a ten-year-old frequent-prankster could pull off. "As long as I'm just a dead last clown, they aren't scared or nothing. If they saw what I could do when I want - they might make a serious effort to kill me."

"Oh, why are you thinking you're surrounded by enemies?" asked Iruka.

Naruto lifted an eyebrow, looked seriously at Iruka, then shook his head. "Because so many of the adults see the prisoner and not the prison?"

Iruka's eyes widened as that penetrated.

"Don't let on that I know, please Iruka-sensei," said Naruto. "This is something I have to do. I promise I'll bring my grades up in my last year, how's that?"

* * *

_September 7th_

"Ah, the wonders of research," said Jiraiya.

"Ah, the wonders of perverts," said a young boy.

"Eh?" asked Jiraiya, glancing around. Finally he noticed a fox watching him from a bush. "What are you talking about? This is research in the pursuit of art!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's an excuse and you know it," said the fox, cleaning one paw. "And I know about your hobbies and that you use the 'super pervert' wandering old man thing as a cover. Not that you aren't super-pervy, but it allows you to get underestimated by people who forget you're the great Toad Sage."

Jiraiya blinked and forgot about the lovely ladies bathing a few yards away. For the moment. "Do I know you?"

"I'm your godson," said the fox, glancing up with blue eyes.

"Someone's been talking," muttered Jiraiya, anger showing itself on his face as he went into serious-mode.

"That's beside the point," said the fox. "Listen pervy-sage, I need your expertise on seals. There ain't nobody in the Five Shinobi Nations who knows more about seals and sealing techniques. If you don't know it, you can invent it."

"Hmmm," said Jiraiya, knowing his ego was being stroked here but intrigued despite himself. "So you're having trouble with your seal?"

"No, but I'm making some modifications in the living arrangements to get more help out of the guy," said the fox. "There's also a kid in the Sand Village I'm trying to get out this way. He's the container of the One Tailed Beast, and his seal isn't working too good. If he falls into a deep sleep, his prisoner takes over the jail - and that ain't cool for anyone near the prison."

* * *

_October 10:_  
Naruto stretched, having gone and spent most of the day training as usual. His taijutsu was coming along, his strength and speed increasing, and he was developing a bit more fully than he had the first time around.

Hopefully he wouldn't be so short this time around. That had really bugged him when he'd gotten to twenty and almost everyone he knew managed to get a little taller. If he was going to 'tank' - be the point attacker who charged enemy positions - he needed to be a bit more physically capable. Stamina could only get you so far.

Which was why he ate all those vegetables and stuff. Didn't help the taste. He'd get taller later on, but he had been the short-guy up until he went off with Jiraiya. When he'd heard (repeatedly) that he could have been even taller if he'd ate regularly a more balanced diet - he'd regretted not doing so.

When he saw the package outside his door, he was surprised. When it turned out to be a set of clothes, he was more surprised.

Who could have sent him this? Why a red so dark it was almost black? It looked expensive, it was sized correctly, and it was -

Naruto sniffed it, then broke into a smile as a particular scent came across. He wasn't exactly an Inuzaka, but his sense of smell was a bit better than most. He'd have to find a way to thank Hinata. A change of clothes was definitely welcome.

* * *

_October 11_

Ino blinked in surprise and didn't immediately notice her jaw dropping.

Okay, it was just Naruto, but he looked so different!

As she remembered to close her mouth and continued to stare at him, she realized that she'd noticed a few changes recently but not paid any attention to him. He was filling out, looking wiry-muscular for someone their age, and he was a little taller than he had been.

What a difference a set of clothes made!

His orange-cream suit, which made her think about a certain type of ice cream she didn't care for, was gone. This was a dark red shirt and pants, with padding in the shoulders and around the collar. DARK red, almost black. Set further off by a deep blue utility vest.

Which should have clashed horribly with his coloration, but somehow fit him.

She glanced to the side on seeing him smile and nod at someone, and took in the look on Hyuga's face. Was something going on there?

* * *

_November 12_:

In another world, another time, Hinata Hyuga would have gone about without any encouragement. Her belief that she was weak and worthless, useless and a disappointment to everyone, would have become crippling problems lasting her for years.

In this world, this time, someone believed in her. When that had sufficiently penetrated and accepted in her heart, things had begun changing.

The short-haired bluenette took her usual seat, glancing around at the rest of the class. Of course, she was mainly interested in the blond boy sitting two rows in front of her. Still, she was a Hyuga and a Hyuga was an observation-specialist. The Jyuuken might make them formidable warriors, but the roots of their family had used the Byakugan for other ends and their family was still valued for that.

Everything was normal though, as hardly anyone would notice a little detail like this.

She tended to wear big and baggy clothes, almost hiding within them. Today was particularly hot, and she was wearing something not so big and baggy.

Now if Naruto would just notice.

"Hey, Hina... whoa."

Hinata smiled brightly, also blushed and fidgeted. _That's more like it._

* * *

_April 3:_

"Say what?" asked ten year old Naruto. "How? Why? What?"

Iruka-sensei shrugged. "I take it that you didn't MEAN to pass?"

"B-but? I - the genin exam?" asked Naruto.

"Many people test for the genin exam yearly," pointed out Iruka. "I remember one girl who graduated when she was nine. Shizune, I think her name was. I graduated at eleven myself. Tsunade, one of the sannin, graduated when she was six!"

"But -" managed Naruto. "I'm only ten! This messes up everything!"

"You know, most graduates don't complain that much," said Iruka. "What's wrong with graduating?"

"I wanted to graduate with -" Naruto thought for a reasonable explanation. "I wanted to graduate with Hinata. I didn't even apply for the test!"

"Ah," said Iruka, nodding. "Not everyone takes the test. Apparently one of the other teachers signed you up. Probably Mizuki. Well, there IS a problem with you graduating this year."

Naruto frowned at the thought of Mizuki doing this. Obviously why Mizuki set him up to graduate was so he could die on a mission he wasn't ready for. Except there was some reason he was going back to the Academy. "So I just go back to the Academy because of that?"

"No," said Iruka. "The problem is that there aren't a lot of jonin ready to accept a new team. There is, in fact, only one tokubetsu jonin available right now. Eventually you'll be transferred to a team, but it might take a year or two."

"Oh?" asked the ten year old. "So I'm stuck with some... It's not that Ebisu guy is it?!"

"No, it's not," said Iruka.

Given the way Iruka-sensei was acting, Naruto had this sudden feeling of doom.

Naruto recognized the individual walking into the room, though he hadn't really interacted that much with his new jonin sensei.

* * *

_April 3_:

"Come on, fresh meat," said Anko Mitarashi. "Looks like we're stuck with each other for awhile."

Cursing inside that he'd screwed something up BADLY for this to happen, ten year old Naruto followed the tokubetsu jonin out of the classroom and to the top of the Hokage mountain.

There she turned around and regarded him, a particularly cruel look in place.

"Great, uhm, so sensei," began Naruto, hoping that would remind her that their relationship was supposed to be genin-student and jonin-instructor. NOT prey-predator or whatever else the notoriously crazy kunoichi would come up with.

"What do we do first?" asked Anko, licking the blade of a kunai. "First. Go ahead and describe yourself, prey. I think that's how this is supposed to start."

Naruto couldn't help but make a face at how fast this was going downhill. "Uhm. Naruto Uzumaki. Recently graduated genin, uhm, I'm going to be Hokage someday (if I survive this) and protect this village -" inspiration struck "-especially from evil child-abusing Ero-Hebi-Sennin like that Uchiha murderer Orochimaru!"

Anko went still, then GROWLED.

_Oh, hell. That backfired!_ thought Naruto.

"Who'd have thought he wasn't interested in girls, just pubescent BOYS," growled out Anko, seeming to have said that to herself. She visibly remembered her audience. "That bastard. Okay, fresh meat, what jutsu do you know?"

Feeling the spike of killing intent, even if it wasn't precisely aimed at him, Naruto gulped. "I know the Academy standards."

"I've seen you running around the village at night, kid," said Anko. "I don't take kindly to students lying to me."

"I know a few advanced jutsu, here and there," admitted Naruto.

"Maybe instead of killing you for lying to me, some training accident," said Anko, moving closer, looking at him like a snake might view a fat and tasty little mouse. "Maybe I'll just find out what it is about little boys that Roachy finds so irresistible."

"Ack," said Naruto, trying to think of some defense. "I've already got a girlfriend!"

"What? At your age?" asked Anko.

"Yup!" said Naruto, nodding his head very very quickly. "Sorry, sensei."

"Oh," said Anko, who'd had absolutely no intention of doing more than freaking the kid out, but was also intrigued by this new development. Kid was apparently ahead of his age in more than jutsu mastery. "Well, enough of that. Let's get to training. Let's start with the basics."

* * *

_April 4_

Hinata's little smile faded bit by bit as the day continued. No Naruto. What had happened yesterday when Naruto had been held after class? She'd noticed that Naruto had gotten extra papers in their pop quiz yesterday, was it related to that? Or was he sick and lying helpless in his room all alone without anyone to care for him?

Finally the regular class had finished and she could approach someone. "Iruka-sensei?"

The teacher glanced down at her. "What is it, Hinata?"

"Is Naruto sick?" asked Hinata.

Iruka sighed and used his special jutsu to check for eavesdroppers. Nothing. "Hinata, Naruto wanted to wait for you so you could graduate together. He passed the graduation exam though, and has gone on to be assigned to a team."

Hinata felt as if her world had just been shattered into tiny little pieces. "He's graduated?"

"Yes, I'm told Mizuki 'accidently' handed out extra pages of test on that quiz recently. Naruto filled them out, and passed the graduation exam," said Iruka. "He's been assigned temporarily to Anko Mitarashi's team."

Hinata looked down at her fidgeting hands. "I see."

"I'm sure you'll see him again, around the village," tried Iruka, seeing the girl looked as if someone had just hit her in the stomach.

"Y-y-yes, I'm sure," said Hinata, bowing. "Thank you sensei."

* * *

_April 9_

She knew now. She knew how much she'd come to rely on his little looks and winks. How he'd always been there, knowing not to be too obvious but quietly rooting for her. When they WERE together, he'd be more demonstrative or just verbally encouraging. She knew that if she came limping in after a particularly rough sparring practice in her family's dojo, he'd be there as soon as he could do so unseen and offer a few words to cheer her on.

Nobody had ever cheered her on before. He'd also occasionally given her a scroll he'd 'just found' while out searching.

Nobody had ever used terms like 'precious' or 'awesome' or 'cute' to describe her. She was precious to him. He wasn't the sort of person to be cruel in such things. Her teachers had high expectations for her, being a Hyuga, and so didn't praise her.

If her father had ever praised her, had ever shown approval to her, she couldn't remember it anymore. She was weak, useless, garbage.

She'd felt the depression his absence had caused, and the feelings in her heart, and she'd confronted them.

She liked him. She liked him a LOT.

She snuck a little closer, hearing the occasional boom or crackle or other sound. It had taken awhile but she'd eventually found out that training area 8 was where Anko and Naruto were training.

"Byakugan," whispered Hinata, doing the hand seals.

Hinata startled and glanced behind herself. What were THEY doing here?

* * *

"How could we resist?" asked Ino.

"Sneaking off to visit her boyfriend?" asked Sakura. "Of course we couldn't resist!"

"I'm just keeping you kids out of trouble," insisted Tenten, from her incredible height of a whole year older.

Sakura nodded absently, glad to focus on something besides their lack of success with Sasuke, pulled a bush to the side and saw where Hinata Hyuga was there, hidden behind a rock.

What was beyond Hinata though, was sufficiently shocking as to completely throw 'spying on young romance' off the schedule.

* * *

Anko had known that Naruto knew more than he was showing. She'd seen him once or twice in the evening self-training. She'd heard rumors and whispers from the ANBU of how Naruto was seen sneaking out of areas he couldn't possibly have gotten into, usually when he'd just returned a scroll or book. The Third Hokage had apparently decided to be impressed on how Naruto was furthering his education and not going after forbidden jutsu, merely things that were supposedly beyond him.

She'd tried threats on the ten year old, she'd tried more threats, she'd tried sticking her tongue in his ear, she'd tried cutting his cheek and licking the blood up.

Anko thought that Naruto's reactions to all of that had been amusing. Hadn't gotten her any information, but it HAD seriously creeped the kid out.

Since yesterday she'd set up all sorts of traps (mostly pit traps with leeches or snakes and such at the bottom) and Naruto had just avoided them and otherwise not played by the rules, she had realized she needed some ALTERNATE method of persuasion to see just what her genin had hidden up his figurative sleeves.

So just a little word in front of a little girl that indicated where her boyfriend would be. So a quick genjutsu, or a pit trap with some nonvenomous snakes, or a summons which had orders not to hurt the little girl - and she could goad the genin into revealing exactly what he had besides some pretty darn good evasion skills.

Movement on one side of the newly-made clearing, and wondering how the boy had gotten enough paper bombs to MAKE the clearing, revealed that the target audience had just appeared.

Anko sent a wave of snakes out to circle around and approach from the rear, which would cause the little Hyuga to run out into the clearing.

Naruto was looking in the direction of those serpents though, so a distraction was needed.

"SO," shouted Anko. "YOU READY TO TALK YET?!"

"NO WAY," said Naruto leaping over yet another cobra and twisting out of the way of its spit.

"YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND," shouted Anko as she did the "Serpent Double Whip" attack. "SO WHO DO I SEND THE FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS TO?"

"HEY WATCH IT," shouted back Naruto as he dodged. "HINATA JUST BOUGHT ME THIS SHIRT!"

"Hinata?" asked Anko, sending a spray of senbon towards Naruto. Of course, she already knew that much. "Isn't she that mouse? You're too young for that sort of thing anyway! So is she!"

"So what? We'll just start dating when we both make chunin," retorted Naruto, figuring that Hinata ought to be on track at least. That way they'd be fourteen - which was acceptable for dating and stuff. Not that he'd been that concerned with 'acceptable' before.

A set of shrieks interrupted the fight. Or at least interrupted Naruto dodging and Anko attacking.

* * *

"SASUKE! HEEEELPPPPPPPP!" screamed several ten year old girls as they ran past Hinata.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed an eleven year old girl as SHE ran past Hinata.

Hinata saw what was coming and reacted just a little differently. "NARUUTOOOOO!" Then she ran too.

Yes, they were tough ninja-students. Yes, they were well on their ways to ninja careers. Yes, they were being groomed for kill-or-be-killed missions. (Though honestly the vast majority of ninja never got past D or C rank missions which had a very low chance of either 'kill' or 'be killed' being included in the price.)

They were also, however, not proper ninjas yet and they WERE little ten and eleven year old girls. Being faced with what amounted to a stampede of slithering snakes of various colors managing to surprise them from their rear was enough to break their nerves. Especially as they were out here just to spy on someone who'd managed to get a boyfriend somehow. Especially as Tenten, the oldest and most combat-ready, had a snake that had gotten lost and dropped down the back of her shirt. That THAT particular snake was scared and lost and just wanted out was entirely beside the point.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" repeated several girls as one of them found the first pit trap and managed to grab a handful of grass to keep from falling in.

Whimpering a little, Ino Yamanaka looked down from where she was hanging onto a handful of grass. Past her feet she could see a drop of about thirty feet into what seemed like a tentacle monster. She didn't know this was just a henge style illusion thrown onto the pit and stabilized with a couple of seals. That it wasn't perfect because it was SUPPOSED to look like a large mass of poisonous snakes. Anko had been getting a little tired though, and the result had been a little sloppy.

No, Ino Yamanaka only knew that she was holding onto a few measly stalks of grass and hanging above a pit with a tentacle monster in it. She didn't know WHY tentacle monsters were bad, just that they were, and apparently had to do something with perverted older guys who liked to watch them fight or feed or something.

Ino Yamanaka's shriek of horror was such that any glassware within several yards would have shattered.

Sakura turned at the shriek, missed her footing, and fell into a pit herself. This was mud and the thirty foot drop was well-cushioned by the gooey substance. She didn't take long to realize though that she was going to sink to the bottom of this and probably die. With her hair a mess as a further insult to injury. Sakura screamed too.

Tenten ran every which way she could as the snake, finally disgusted by its current situation to the point of just plain pissed - wrapped itself around the kunoichi's torso to keep from getting bounced around so much. Thinking that it was about to squeeze her to death, bite her with poison, or do something else, Tenten did two things. One, panic. Two, get a long knife or something as a backup weapon in the near future. All she had with her were a few kunai and shuriken. That was when she found the noose trap.

Hinata saw four girls fall into pit traps. One was snagged by a noose trap and three more ended up being captured in a net. One found some sort of catapult-trap and was launched up into the air, and

_TOING!_

Hinata realized a set of kunai was flying towards her, and she tried to focus and use her Byakugan to dodge them all.

_TingtingtingtingtingtingTANG_

Naruto was suddenly in front of her, then turned to grab her and head off.

"Na-Naruto-kun?" squeaked Hinata as her future-boyfriend saved her.

* * *

"That's more like it," said Anko as her plan worked. Though all these other girls were an unexpected complication. Was the boy that much of a player at HIS age?

He had immediately made two dozen bunshin and gone after all the girls involved. Anko corrected herself to KAGE bunshin as they were obviously solid enough to block kunai, grab girls, pull them to safety, and start getting them out of the danger zone.

Naruto or his clones would throw something, then suddenly be all the way across the battlefield in order to rescue someone. It was almost like-

Anko stopped. Blond hair. That technique. Blue eyes. Age? It fit.

Anko swore as she dove into the rescuing herself, dismissing the snakes as she went. She HATED running into S-class secrets. It always meant more problems to know about them than to not.

Damage control first. Well, at least her reputation as the craziest kunoichi in Konoha would be enhanced.

* * *

_April 10_:

Anko glanced over the various assembled people, mostly jonin, the Hokage, and finished up her account of the events of the previous night. "-he showed precision chakra control, extremely high reserves and recovery, and his actions when everything went to pot demonstrated that his priorities were correct. Really, the kid has some serious promise that fits who I now know to be his father."

"So Uzumaki has been researching jutsu and training hard," mused one of the clan elders who had a daughter who'd gotten involved in all this.

"And is the Yondaime's son," said another clan elder.

"This is all highly classified," said the Third Hokage. "He might know, and you might know, but if word got back to the Stone Village - they would likely send assassins out in numbers based on their hatred of Minato Namikaze and his successes in the war."

"We hear you," grumped one of the clan heads. "So what do you want US to do, other than keep quiet about it?"

"Naruto and Anko will both receive punishment duties for having endangered so many people," said the Third Hokage, knowing that no one - least of all Naruto - had actually INTENDED harm. "I'll need personal assessments as you go along too, Anko. Exactly what ARE your plans after the punishment duties?"

"D-rank missions," said Anko. "Maybe the occasional C-rank. Some additional training, if I can send him by Maito Gai for a few weeks for polishing up his taijutsu - that might do for punishment. He's too hyper for genjutsu but I also want to send him to Yuhi, she's good enough at it maybe she can teach him a decent dispel. If he's up to it, and everything goes as it has - there's the Chuunin Exam in the Sand Village later this year. He's certainly got the chakra and control, but as he doesn't have any team to join with - that might be a problem."

"Sir, on an unrelated issue," said the Nara head, "what of Itachi?"

"What about him?" asked the Hokage.

"He's been missing for some time now, and had been under some sort of genjutsu before that," pointed out the Nara. "Has there been any word of his location and condition? There are some pretty disturbing rumors."

"I can't do anything about rumors," said the Hokage. "On the other hand, he seems to be a bit older than the sort of boy Orochimaru likes."

There were a number of shudders and at least one warding gesture as the various jonin and special jonin considered that.

* * *

_April 15_

"Well, this certainly sssssucks," commented Orochimaru.

"Sir?" asked one of the nervous flunkies.

Orochimaru knew he'd been nowhere near Konoha that eventful night. He'd been off trying to collect tissue samples in some crypts. He also knew that having a reputation such that he could claim credit for killing off most of the famous Uchiha clan had some uses. He had people surrendering and backing away from him now that he'd have had to waste valuable time fighting.

The tendency for people to hide their children from him meant that he didn't have to deal with snotty-nosed brats.

He certainly found it difficult to get good service when he was out and about though, because people tended to vanish near him and then get their families and flee out of the city when he wore his real face.

Even a lot of his loyal Oto servants tended to pack up and go running for the horizon if they had the opportunity.

This particular roadside inn, for example. They must have figured out who he was, because as soon as he turned his attention from the staff - all of them had fled out the back and were probably hiding their children somewhere.

Just trying to get the occasional meal out somewhere was becoming as hard as finding hidden jutsu.

"Never mind," grumped Orochimaru. "Just get busy in the kitchen and put out any fires they've left burning."

* * *

_August 3rd:_

"Not that damn cat AGAIN," grumped Naruto Uzumaki.

"Yes, that damn cat. AGAIN," said Anko, who really could relate. She was tired of the damn cat-retrieval missions herself.

"Fine, fine," said Naruto. "I'm not sure I can beat my time on this though. Cat's getting a lot better at avoiding my shadow-clones."

"Just find the damn thing," said Anko Mitarashi. "Then we can get back to the Hokage and try to clear another mission. Maybe he's got something better than cat finding."

"Or weed-pulling, or painting fences, or digging ditches, or irrigating fields," said Naruto, ticking off the most common missions he'd been getting of late.

"Yeah, well," said Anko.

"-or fixing wells, or babysitting kids," continued to gripe Naruto.

Anko twitched at the thought of doing more of these lame missions. It wasn't as if she liked any of this herself!

"-or fixing roofs, or mending fences," continued Naruto.

Out of all of them though, Anko decided, it was the damn cat retrieval missions she hated the most. She was tempted to just have a snake swallow the thing.

"-or delivery service, or road repair," continued Naruto.

"SHADDUP ALREADY!" snapped Anko.

"I've already got my shadow clones sectioning the city, looking for Tora," explained Naruto. "I had a feeling it would be another cat-finding mission. It HAS been two whole days after all. Come on, can't we get something where I can do something a little more interesting?"

"At least you're not having to fix sewage pipes and work the desk in a lingerie store," said Anko.

"It would have worked a lot better if they hadn't had me go straight from one to the other," pointed out Naruto.

"Yeah, tell me about it," said Anko. "Tell you what, I'll see if I can finagle a C-rank out of the old fogie."

"That'd be good," said Naruto guardedly.

"I've asked Yuhi Kurenai to teach you some genjutsu dispelling techniques," said Anko. "Try not to irritate her too much."

* * *

She was a quiet little mouse. She'd heard the words of Anko Mitarashi.

She'd heard that. She'd heard more too.

_She's my precious friend._

She'd originally started watching him because she'd seen similarities in their situation. She was the useless garbage of her family, unwanted, weak. He was treated like garbage, but unlike herself - he never gave up. It never broke him the way it had crushed her.

_She's cute, smart, and nice._

She had wanted the earth to just swallow her up. She'd cursed fate that she'd ever been born. She'd come to know that her life was worthless and that her father had no use for her.

_In the future, I know she's going to be an AWESOME kunoichi._

She snapped through one set of forms after another. Precision. Flexibility. Strength.

_We'll just start dating when we both make chuunin._

Someone believed in her. Someone cared about her. Someone she liked cared about HER.

She didn't understand how or why, but she would rather die than let Naruto down.

* * *

_August 5th:_

"All right! A mission that doesn't involve cats, sewers, chickens, or potholes?" asked an enthusiastic Naruto.

"Now this is a little more dangerous," said the Third Hokage.

"Hey, I eat 'danger' for breakfast!" enthused Naruto. "You should see some of the training exercises Mitarashi-sensei puts me through! OOF!"

Anko glowered at the kid she'd gotten stuck with as she retracted her elbow.

"Be that as it may," said the Hokage, "this mission will be difficult and clearly will test your abilities."

"ALL RIGHT!" enthused Naruto. "What is it?! Fighting pirates? Escorting a merchant caravan? Rescuing princesses? Beating on bandits? Border patrol? Defeating terrible monsters? Is it the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I'm ready!"

"Yeah, right, fresh meat," grumped Anko. "It's only a 'C' rank mission."

* * *

"Delivering a package to the Sand Village? GREAT!" said Naruto as they left the Hokage's office. "Oh. I'm going to have to fortify myself with extra ramen. They don't have any there."

Anko had been ready for a number of reactions. An excuse for ramen binging had not been something she'd considered. "What do you mean they don't have ramen?"

"Sunagakure has limited water," explained Naruto. "Their most common D-Rank Mission is to collect water, put it in seals, and carry it into the village from outside. I gotta pen pal named Temari. I've invited her and her two brothers over for ramen since they don't got that there. Just imagine. A life without ramen. Terrible. Tragic even."

Anko wasn't sure the boy was kidding, which was the scary part. "Right."

"I suppose I could limit myself to four or five bowls tonight," mused Naruto. "Maybe I could put a few away in seals. It's a three day journey after all."

"Don't eat too much," said Anko. "We'll also be escorting someone there and you'll need to carry extra weight."

"Oh, really, who?" asked Naruto.

"You'll see," said Anko, waving him off. "I don't think they've got dango there either. I think I'll fortify myself."

* * *

_August 6:_

"Isn't he a bit young?" asked Jiraiya.

"Itachi was ten when he made chuunin," pointed out Anko.

"Yes, and look how well THAT worked out," immediately responded Jiraiya.

"You graduated from the Academy at the age of SIX," said Anko.

"Well, I'm exceptional," said Jiraiya.

"We're escorting HIM?" asked Naruto. "Hey, can I get some training?"

"I'm already training you," said Anko with irritation.

"I don't like spiders and snakes," said Naruto. "Toads and frogs are better. Girls still think of toads and frogs as icky, but not as badly as they do spiders and snakes."

"True enough," said Jiraiya with a nod. "Good to see you've got priorities kid."

"What grosses girls out is NOT a concern for a young genin," complained Anko, who didn't think there was anything wrong with snakes.

"When I make Hokage, image is going to be VERY important," responded Naruto with a little huff. "Gotta make good impressions. Some of those toads are pretty big, so a good intimidation value there."

"Interesting," mused Jiraiya. "Don't forget that Tsunade summons slugs though."

"Yeah, kinda creepy ain't they?" asked Naruto. "Leaving a trail of slime everywhere."

Anko shuddered visibly.

"Well, summoned slugs aren't quite as gross and disgusting as their natural counterparts," said Jiraiya, smiling despite himself. He'd have to have the kid around if he ever ran into Tsunade again.

"In ANY case," said Anko, slinging her pack into place. "We've got to get going."

Jiraiya started off, checking out the size of the packs Naruto was carrying. "Isn't that a bit too much weight for your size?"

"Not a problem, Pervy Sage," said Naruto.

"Don't call me that," protested Jiraiya. "You say that and I start looking around for Orochimaru."

"Point," admitted Naruto. "He's much pervier than you are."

"Yes," said Jiraiya with a nod. "I restrict my research to healthy girls who are over the age of consent, that have matured to the beauty of feminine ripeness."

Anko got a kunai out. "You saying you've peeped at me?"

"Considering what you normally wear, you're pretending modesty now?" asked Jiraiya.

"It's the principle of the thing," shot back Anko.

Naruto sighed. Looked like this was going to be a long trip.

"Oh," said Anko, glancing back at him. "That area-effect genjutsu dispel? Warn me next time before you practice it."

"Huh? Why?" asked Naruto, not seeing a reason to forbid practice.

"It itches," said Anko, turning back to her argument with Jiraiya about proper kunoichi fashion.

* * *

_August 10_

"-and that's why you should never trust snakey pedophiles," finished Naruto.

"How did the subject go from talking about water distribution using sealing techniques to Orochimaru?" asked Jiraiya.

"All three of us want to kill that old snake," said Naruto. "Why wouldn't conversations come back to that?"

Anko shrugged, thinking maybe she was getting used to Naruto by now. What a horrible thought THAT was!

"What did Orochimaru do to YOU specifically anyway? I must have missed that," said Jiraiya.

"I'm going to be Hokage someday," said Naruto firmly. "Getting rid of a pedophile predator who hates Konoha just kind of fits into that."

"I suppose it does," agreed Jiraiya. "So, anyway. That mountain over there is Suna."

"Suna's a mountain?" asked Anko.

"Hollowed out," said Naruto, chiming in. "Open to the sky. Temari sent me a brochure from their Tourism Board."

"A ninja village with a 'Tourism Board'?" asked Jiraiya.

"Yeah, something about how the lord of the local land decided to cut back on the number of ninjas here, and how they outsource ninja missions to Konoha and other places," said Naruto. "I didn't get a lot of details. Anyway, in order to make SOME money they do stuff like using their wind-element ninja to sweep sand outta stuff. Also hire out for sailing vessels on the coast in other countries. Oh and they maintain trade stops and rest areas for merchant caravans and stuff like that."

"How long have you been writing Temari?" asked Anko, still not used to the idea of this little boy having multiple girlfriends. Ten years old was TEN for crying out loud.

"Oh a couple years tops," said Naruto. "Toady sage? You wanna look at what we discussed awhile back?"

Jiraiya shrugged. One of the areas of specialization he had, and he took very seriously, was in the matter of sealing techniques. "Yeah, sure. I'll take a look. What'd you say his name was?"

"Gaara," said Naruto. "Thanks Toady-sage!"

"That really doesn't sound much better than 'Pervy-sage,'" pointed out Anko.

* * *

She re-read the scroll for what seemed the hundredth time.

Naruto had provided these, copies of scrolls that he'd acquired and then returned during his nightly forays. She knew that. She'd even been questioned about it once.

She understood it was required of her to keep quiet about it. To Naruto as well as to her family. Well, secrets were part of a ninja's trade.

When finished re-familiarizing herself with the contents of the scroll, she stepped out onto the water, nearly losing her balance at one point until she could stabilize herself. Then she began the kata.

The martial arts style was one similar in some ways to the jyuuken of her family. Fanged Snake style kung fu - it was called. Flow around attacks, strike hard at critical areas, then evade the counter. Flow like water. Flexibility was a major part of the style.

Sword or spear use were parts of the higher levels of the art.

Fingers were strengthened to strike, stomach and spine strengthened without losing flexibility. Agility and speed were more important than strength, and considering her size - something that fit her.

Jyuuken was similar, except for requiring the Byakugan. As Naruto's note indicated, slipped to her with this scroll, this gave her a backup close-range style when her chakra reserves were low.

She WOULD graduate. She wasn't sure she could become as 'awesome' as Naruto seemed to think she would, but there was no way she'd disappoint Naruto and stay a genin.

Unfortunately thinking of Naruto caused her to blush, fidget, and lose the precise chakra control necessary to stand on the water.

"eeep!"_SPLASH!_ "oh darn."


	3. Chapter 3: Chunin Daze

Mischief Fragment, Rewind, chapter 3  
by Greylle  
DISCLAIMER: characters from Naruto, setting by Kishimoto, weirdness from me.

Note that this also was first published on the Anime Addventure under another pseudonym, Kestral. i started several of these Mischief threads, trying to find one that would prove to be sufficiently popular that i could drop the rest and just concentrate on one.

Well, like much of my life, there is what is planned - and then there is what actually happens.

Chapter 3: Chunin Daze _August 12:_

Temari hadn't been sure what to expect out of the penpal she'd been exchanging messages with. He was a ten year old kid, except he looked a bit older. Not as mature as herself of course, as she was twelve! Besides, he was from Konohagakure and everyone KNEW how soft they had it there.

Gaara was asleep. He seemed to determine to catch up on it since he was no longer in danger of having his soul eaten and waking up as a bloodthirsty ravening monster.

Kankuro was a bit put off, as the friendly boy seemed intent on putting distance between Kankuro and himself due to the amount of poisoned edges present in most of Kankuro's puppets.

"So how are you going to get together a three-man team for the chuunin exam anyway?" asked Temari.

"Actually, sensei's got that covered," said Naruto. "Two of the more experienced genin are forming a temporary team with me. Apparently they're ready, but the rest of their own teams aren't. So this way they get to test, and then they can uphold the honor of Konohagakure and stuff."

"You don't seem that enthusiastic," noted Temari as Naruto got out a seal-scroll.

"Well, yes and no," admitted Naruto. "See, I wanted to graduate with everyone else. I just kinda goofed and graduated early."

Temari wondered how one could 'goof' and graduate school early.

"So that plan's kinda blown up anyway," said Naruto. "So I'm looking at the benefits of being chunin. More C-Rank missions, maybe even some B. That'd be good. I'd be a rank above Sasuke-teme when he gets out. That'd be good. I wouldn't be able to help my friends out when it comes time for them to take the exam themselves, that's not so good."

"So who is your team?" asked Temari.

"Scouting out your competition?" asked Naruto, his grin returning.

"I'm not even testing this year," said Temari. "Just curious."

"I think I've met them before, Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane," said Naruto. "I think."

"You think?" asked Temari.

"Anko-sensei got into a drinking contest at an inn near the border," said Naruto. "She wasn't making a whole lot of sense when she told me about it."

"Which reminds me," said Temari. "When do you think Baki and Jiraiya will get back?"

"A three-way drinking contest, where everyone's trying to get the other two drunk so they can get secret information out of the others?" asked Naruto. "It's only been a day. Give 'em another two before we need to go looking for them."

"Ah," said Temari.

Naruto invoked a seal, then handed her one of the two bowls of soup that appeared. "This is ramen. Nature's most perfect food. These are the Ichiraku Big Beef Bowls."

Temari took the bowl with a certain amusement. It certainly smelled good. "You've created a special sealing for this?"

"Well, yeah, it was important," said Naruto. "Ramen is Serious Business."

"Of course," said Temari, not thinking it WAS but obviously Naruto did.

"It's a shouyu variety ramen," said Naruto, explaining the intricacies of ramen to the poor benighted girl who'd lived a ramen-deprived life prior to this. "Using beef stock as the base, he adds menma (marinated bamboo shoots), negi (green onions), nori (seaweed), boiled eggs, bean sprouts, black pepper, thinly-sliced beef and his special spice mix that he won't tell me about."

"Secrets?" asked Temari, still thinking it was just a soup.

Naruto nodded before turning his full attention to making the soup disappear in a manner that had nothing at all to do with special ramen-seals.

* * *

"Begin," said Hiashi Hyuga, certain that this fight between the two daughters would go as it always did. Hinata would go on the defensive, Hanabi would go offensive. Hanabi would be blocked a few times, then eventually Hinata would miss a block and not be able to manage the speed and precision necessary. Win - Hanabi.

Hanabi sped forward, hands knife-edged as she prepared for an easy win.

Hinata deviated from the script. One of Naruto's scrolls had this. "Suiton: Suitsuya Jutsu!" (Water Release: Waterslick Jutsu)

Hanabi saw a ripple of chakra, but whatever Hinata was trying to do had left her exposed and it hadn't worked.

Hanabi noticed a moment later that she was sliding forward with her legs going every-which-away as she tried to remain upright.

Hinata's foot came up, and gave a gentle shove as Hanabi windmilled past her.

_KA-WHAM!_

"Sister, while the jyuuken is a supreme martial art style," said Hinata softly. "If you assume too much, you will not see what is before you."

Hiashi was torn for a moment between wanting to berate Hinata for using a minor ninjutsu technique during a jyuuken spar, and wanting to accept this as a potentially valuable lesson for the younger. "Hinata. You will refrain from tricks in the future. Hanabi, do you know why you did not detect the chakra of the summoned water?"

The younger girl rubbed her nose as she stood up. "Because I was focussed entirely on her tenketsu?"

"That and this 'water slick' technique is a very minor technique," said Hiashi, deciding this was one of those Teaching Moments. "A small amount of water, mixed with soap or some similar surfactant, isn't it?"

"Yes, father," said Hinata, bowing to her sensei.

"A prank jutsu, but one that can be used to gain a momentary advantage against a foe," said Hiashi Hyuga.

"Yes, Father, but also possibly useful for discouraging pursuit or coordinated with traps," said Hinata softly.

"I will not object to your use of it, this one time," said Hiashi. "Stick with Gentle Fist manuevers for your sparring now. Take your places and begin again."

* * *

"So you're the kid that ran ANBU around so much?" asked one of the two genin.

"Yeah," said Naruto. "So you're my team-mates for the purposes of the exam?"

"Where's Anko, or Jiraiya for that matter?" asked Izumo Kamizuki.

"Drinking contest with locals," said Naruto, shaking his head at the antics of the adults. What WAS the ninja world coming to when the adults were less responsible than the ten-year old prankster in their midst? "Both groups trying to get information out of each other."

Kotetsu Hagane grimaced. "Let me guess. They're all incapacitated right now?"

"Yeah," repeated Naruto. "If Shikamaru won't charge me for using his catchphrase. 'This is SO tiresome.'"

Kotetsu and Izumo shrugged and slung their backpacks out of the way. "Okay. So we ought to practice teamwork or something, right?"

"Test starts tomorrow," pointed out Naruto. "You ought to try not to do much today. Just get used to the air here. Air's thinner, hardly any humidity, gets real damn hot in the day, but you'll freeze your toes off at night."

"Huh," said Kotetsu, scratching under the bandage that crossed his nose.

"Okay. Well, I'm Izumo Kamizuki," said the other genin. "Water element specialist. Which means I might be in a little difficulty here."

"Not a lot of water for you to tap into, you mean," said Naruto with a nod.

"I'm better at genjutsu but I've got some weapons to use," said Kotetsu, flopping down next to his backpack. "My kunai-swords, plus the conch-shell mace."

"I don't think you've ever managed to hit anyone with that thing yet," said Izumo.

"It's only for special battles anyway," said Kotetsu. "Anyway, both of us are pretty good at taijutsu. You're a ninjutsu specialist, right kid?"

"You could say that," admitted Naruto.

"What you got?" asked Izumo, sitting more carefully down.

"I got a few basics, a few advanced," admitted Naruto. "Mostly wind element or similar."

"Do you know 'Wind Release: Violent Wind Palm'?" asked Izumo.

"Yeah, learned that one awhile back," said Naruto. "I'm working on the kunai blade one - that one's tricky."

A knock at the door interrupted the discussion. Kotetsu and Izumo both had kunai in their hands immediately.

"I think it's Temari," said Naruto, going to the door. "She was going to show me a ninja supply place here. Gotta stock up for tomorrow, after all." _The nicer I am to her, the easier it'll be to set her and Shikamaru up later._

* * *

Shikamaru frowned. This was troublesome. Very much so.

The "dead last" had managed to graduate early, which had thrown ripples throughout their little classroom balance-of-power.

What was worse was that his own mother was pressuring him to graduate early too.

Still, he was relatively sure he could just blow it off and let things slide by. Eventually the status quo would settle down again.

Why hurry to the life of a genin when it just meant that he'd have to (shudder) work?

Still, it was troublesome.

* * *

Kotetsu and Izumo exchanged a look. Ten year old boy and a twelve year old girl, both recently advanced to genin. Getting along remarkably well.

This was just plain weird.

"So I know the basic manuevers for Wind Release (Fuuton) techniques, but I don't know what I can do as far as an elemental change," admitted Naruto, as he browsed the rows of kunai in their case. "How do you figure out what your second element is?"

"That's kind of advanced," noted Kotetsu.

"Yeah, I know. You've got to be chuunin normally just to get taught that stuff," said Izumo. "It's pretty chakra intensive to force the change of element, I know that much."

"So neither of you can do it?" asked Temari, sitting near the counter with one leg crossed under her and the other swinging back and forth as she watched the shoppers move around the store.

"We've got a few surprises to unleash," admitted Izumo. "It's just that we want them to stay surprises."

"I'm not one of your opponents," said Temari, though acknowledging privately that they WERE of rival villages.

"We're ninja," said Izumo. "Keeping some stuff hidden is in the job description I think."

"Yeah, frankly I think chuunin is as far as either of us go," said Kotetsu. "Some of the stuff the jonin have to do is way too troublesome."

"You sound like Shikamaru," noted Naruto, now wondering about the ninja wire-spools. Seemed to be cheaper here than back in the Leaf.

"The Nara kid? He's got the right attitude," opined Kotetsu. "Why work harder than you need to?"

"You work with ninja-wire?" asked Temari as she noted what Naruto was looking at.

"Probably not on the exam, but it IS an area I need to work on," said Naruto. "I've also heard I'll need a weapon eventually. Jonin and such have to display weapon mastery here in Suna too, right?"

"Yeah," admitted Temari, not mentioning that the fan she was carrying was just such a weapon. If they didn't know already, then they weren't ready for chuunin.

* * *

The classroom wasn't quite full, there were empty seats on each row.

To Naruto's surprise, each team was seated together. One of the proctors of the Sand Village set a single sheet of paper, face down, in front of the center of each three-man team, then moved on to the next group to repeat the action.

When the chuunin was through with handing out those sheets, he nodded to the head examiner.

Naruto had met Baki before, just recently in fact, but the jonin hadn't been giving off "killing intent" then.

"You have passed the first hurdle by making it through the genjutsu misdirection," said Baki. "Now the real testing begins. When I give the signal, the test will start. Your test consists of ten stages. Each step leads to another step, with the ninth step giving you your goal. You will bring that goal back to this classroom before the end of the day or you FAIL. If you are stopped by one of the other genin teams in the process - FAIL. If you attack a proctor or physically sabotage one of the clue stations - FAIL. If you ask me any stupid questions - FAIL."

Baki looked around the room. Nobody seemed inclined to give him a question. Good. "Begin."

Kotetsu flipped the paper over quickly. "What the heck?"

"Cipher," said Izumo. "Scrambled alphanumeric. Let's see..."

Naruto blinked as Izumo started jotting things down and then crossing off when it didn't work.

"Oh, got it," said Izumo after a few minutes. "There's garbage characters in between the real words. This is what it says."

_At the hawk's perch of the sands, seek the next clue._

* * *

"Did you hear about Hinata? She's beaten four people in the branch family now with her jyuuken skills."

"A pity she keeps having to face Neji, and she just doesn't seem to be able to fight well against her younger sister."

"On the other hand, did you see those ramen bowls she made? There were a few wrecks at first, but she turned out some fine pieces at the end."

"It is nice to see artistic skills in one of the main family, it DOES bring a certain prestige," admitted the second. "Quite nice. Though why ramen bowls? It's such a base food."

"She's ten years old," pointed out the first. "You'd kind of expect that sort of thing at that age, wouldn't you?"

"I suppose," said the second, who then brightened. "She's also top of her class now, finally upseating that Uchiha kid. THAT has to bring a smile to her father's face."

"Are we talking about the same Hiashi Hyuga?" asked the first.

"Touche," said the second, sighing. "Well, maybe a slight hint of the barest trace of a ghost of a smile?"

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha frowned as his "best in class" was broken AGAIN! He took his anger and wounded pride out on a kunai target, in as much of a snit as a ten year old prodigy and member of a gifted clan could get.

How had "Deadlast" Naruto graduate ahead of him?! How had the quiet little mouse in the last row suddenly sweep ahead academically?

It was bad enough that some rabid fangirl with PINK hair kept dogging his heels academically. How could he avenge his clan and kill his brother if he couldn't even do THIS much?

It was troublesome.

And NOW he was beginning to sound like Shikamaru!

* * *

Naruto appeared on the roof first. Followed by Naruto and Naruto and Naruto and Naruto.

"Clear," said one of the Naruto as the others checked the rest of the roof. Izumo and Kotetsu quickly made their way to the rooftop, joined by another Naruto.

"You use shadow clones for everything?" asked Kotetsu.

"It's better than getting an explosive tag in the face," said the last Naruto.

"Says you," said one of the Naruto clones.

"So what about the effect on the environment?" asked another Naruto.

"Knock it off guys," said the original Naruto.

"This one's in a different code," said Izumo. "Wait a minute. This isn't a code."

"Oh, I know that one," said Kotetsu. "This is in an old language from before the time of the Sage Of Six Paths."

"Isn't the Sage just a myth?" asked Izumo.

"Depends on what sources you use," said Kotetsu, taking the plaque. "Okay, now we need to find a decent map."

"Topographical, geographical, tour, or nationwide?" asked Naruto, slinging his pack off his back.

"National," said Kotetsu, "we're looking for a specific location. Probably nearby."

"Here we go," said Naruto, rummaging in his pack briefly. "Thought it might be handy."

Kotetsu examined the plaque, then the map, then let the plaque fall back at the end of the chain. "Okay, follow me."

"We are going to lose the guys following us, right?" asked Izumo.

"Naruto?" asked Kotetsu.

"Shadow clones," said Naruto, creating nine clones. "Henge."

Four groups of the temporary Leaf genin team nodded at each other and then went in different directions. All of whom smiled when they heard cursing from a nearby rooftop.

* * *

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Shut up," said Anko. "You wish something had happened."

"I only like cute girls," retaliated Kakashi.

Anko said something unpleasant about cute.

"Regardless, I have some standards," said Jiraiya.

"That's it, you're dead," said Anko, reaching for the legendary shinobi.

* * *

"Okay," said Izumo, standing on the mountaintop and examining the obelisk. "Back to code. Numeric, alpha... okay. Got it. We need to get the gizzard of a sandworm and bring it to the next station."

"What's a sandworm, and where's the next station?" asked Naruto, scratching his head.

"What's twelve meters long, tubular, and apparently includes genin on its diet plan?" asked Kotetsu.

"I don't think I've heard this one," said Naruto, still looking at the obelisk along with Izumo. "Uhm? Anko-sensei?"

"She's not tubular," pointed out Izumo, then glanced into the valley that Kotetsu was looking at. "Oh HELL."

"Well, at least we don't have to look far to find one of these 'sandworm' things," reasoned Naruto. "Shadow clone jutsu!"

"Do you HAVE to rely on that so much?" asked Izumo. "Is that a hammer and you see every problem as a nail?"

"I'd prefer not to get eaten myself," said Naruto. "Been there, done that, had to clean stomach acid out of my tee-shirt."

"Got a point," admitted Izumo.

"When did THIS happen?" asked Kotetsu.

"When I was just a kid," said Naruto, neglecting to mention that he'd been two years older than he was now.

* * *

"Man, this stuff smells like..." Naruto went quiet for a few moments as his hands continued to work under the incision.

"Like?" asked Kotetsu.

"I think he figured out that he'd have to inhale to speak," said Izumo.

"He's turning purple," noted Kotetsu.

Naruto finally made a motion and started staggering away from the corpse, snapping his arms down and sluicing off some bodily fluids.

"Don't come anywhere near us with that stuff on you," said Kotetsu, backing away. "That stuff smells bad enough at a distance."

"So, you were saying what it smells like up close? What did it remind you of?" asked Izumo as Naruto tried to scrub his arms off with sand.

"I've had to work in backed up sewers, and the smell from THAT worm thing was worse," said Naruto eventually.

"They forced you to work in sewers?" asked Izumo. "I've only known you for two days and I already know your sense of smell is closer to an Inuzuka's than a regular nose."

"With my sensei, I haven't been able to refuse anything," grumped Naruto.

"Oh, good point," said Izumo. "So we have to get to the next stop-"

"OR," said a new voice. "You could decide to hand over that sandworm gizzard and live."

Izumo turned to the Sand genin trio that had shown up. "Do you HAVE to act like villains from some kid's melodrama?"

One of the other Sand nin moved forward. "I think we should just kill 'em and let the sandworms finish off the bodies."

"Idiots," said Kotetsu, drawing his kunai-swords.

* * *

"That demon brat, how dare he test for chunin?!"

Shikamaru blinked as he heard the comment, and glanced towards the two older women discussing it. It seemed troublesome.

"He had to have done something horrible, cast a jutsu or something, to graduate early," said the other.

Shikamaru's eyes tracked over to the side as he considered the odd statements. He'd heard similar things though, most of his life. It was just putting the terms 'chunin test' and 'graduate early' together, dealing with present tense - that narrowed the scope of whom they were addressing.

"Should have killed him right away, no cause for that demon to be allowed to live."

Shikamaru considered the data, filing it away for later. His attention also picked up the little motion of another classmate that he knew. Perhaps he knew more?

He could investigate it later after all. If it weren't too tiresome.

* * *

Jiraiya got up, got dressed, and made tea.

About the time the tea was finished steeping, Anko was finally stirring.

"You - that was - whoa," managed Anko.

Jiraiya nodded, handing her a cup of the tea with just the faintest of smiles. "I may not be the most perverted among the densetsu no sannin, but I do know a few things within my specialty."

"Uh, yeah," said Anko.

Jiraiya patted her on the shoulder. "After you've had a chance to recover, there are a few more techniques I can show you."

Anko sipped at her tea quietly for a few moments, just nodding before she got a bit of fire back. "Oh yeah? I bet you can't do that again!"

"No?" asked Jiraiya, collecting her cup and taking his own to the side of the stove.

"No way, it was a fluke, a freak accident," insisted Anko.

"Ah," said Jiraiya. "Well, let's check into that theory. Shall we?"

* * *

The three Sand genin were tough and experienced. The three of them were a match for Kotetsu and Izumo.

Naruto had gotten sufficiently sick from grubbing around inside a sandworm that he wasn't at his best.

Still, there were some ninjutsu he could pull off. Not Shadow Clone, because that would just make copies of him that were likewise ill.

No, he'd just do this.

_SPLUNCH!_

Have a Shadow Clone hold his nose with one hand while throwing bits of sludgy sandworm innards at the Sand threesome.

The three Sand genin retreated under the assault.

"Watch slinging that stuff, you almost got me," said Kotetsu, backing off.

"I'm gonna need to burn these clothes I think," said Naruto with a frown. "And bathe. Trying to rub it off with sand hasn't worked too well."

Izumo went through a quick set of hand seals. "Suiton: Kirei No Jutsu!"

As soon as the spray of water was past, Naruto said the obvious thing. "I gotta learn that one."

"Well, it took everything in my canteen," said Izumo. He sniffed. "Worth it though. Can't sneak if you smell bad enough to curdle milk at ten meters."

* * *

Shino Aburame frowned ever so slightly. Not that anyone could tell, except for members of his own clan of course. He'd spotted Shikamaru Nara, and from the boy's reaction had overheard the same comments.

The active dislike for the class clown had been going on for some time from the adults. Even when that same clown had toned down his pranks and jokes, while retaining the frequently annoying upbeat emotional displays, the displays from the adult community were strongly indicative of a disapproval that at least bordered on outright detestation.

Yet Shino could find no reason sufficient for such a degree of hostility.

The boy had tried to make friends and play with his peer group. Of that group several were actively contemptuous, others knew that the adults despised the boy and therefore sought to distance themselves, while a handful of others merely tolerated his presence without doing anything to actively encourage his association.

The term 'demon brat' was intriguing. Naruto Uzumaki was an orphan, but that was hardly uncommon. There had been the Kyubi Attack ten years ago, occasional predation by rogue ninja, missions with fatalities from either hostile force or accident. Living a long life was not a goal most ninja could logically expect. Those ninja who did live to a elderly age were quite formidable and had also been favored by probability curves.

While it was true that Naruto Uzumaki had shown advanced knowledge of ninjutsu and considerable stamina, the probability of him being able to use a genjutsu to force his teachers to allow him to graduate early was quite low. In fact, from what he had heard - the boy had been dismayed upon that result himself.

There was also the events of Naruto's training under the jonin Mitarashi. Mitarashi herself, from overheard comments, was considered to be traitorous or monstrous because she was associated with the rogue sannin Orochimaru.

Shino cocked his head ever so slightly as that thought brought up possibilities. Was it possible that Uzumaki had himself been blamed for his association with someone else? He'd begun considering the possibility that it was something that one of his parents had done, though he didn't know of any criminals of that period that would justify those reactions except for Orochimaru. That Uzumaki was Orochimaru's child was unlikely though considering Orochimaru's well known preferences in that department.

What was it that Shikamaru Nara often said? Oh yes, this was troublesome. Indeed.

* * *

------------

Author's Notes:

i ran into a lot of these "Peggy Sue" (mental time travel) style fics while trying to research what had already been done so i could go in a different direction. i noticed that these fics DID tend to follow certain patterns, and i'd written/plotted out a good chunk of story before realizing i was defeating my purpose of singling out a single storyline to continue.

i think it's mainly because there's so much disconnect and dissatisfaction with the original story among the non-shonen audience of the story's two halves. In the beginning, Naruto is a typical shonen protaganist: a loud-mouthed idiot with a big heart and the hints of some odious personal habits, struggling against a society which either doesn't accept him or simply ignores him. He eventually gets better, with occasional backsliding into a sort of character that actually seems more a comic sidekick/antagonist of Sasuke at times.

The thread over there at the Anime Addventure -

that i thought had the most potential was the Phoenix Fragment plotline. Yet until i blew up Kakashi that thread had amongst the least response. (shrug)


	4. Chapter 4: Raiders of the lost jutsu

Mischief Fragment, Rewind, chapter 4  
by Greylle  
DISCLAIMER: characters from Naruto, setting by Kishimoto, weirdness from me.

Note that this also was first published on the Anime Addventure under another pseudonym, Kestral. i started several of these Mischief threads, trying to find one that would prove to be sufficiently popular that i could drop the rest and just concentrate on one.

Well, like much of my life, there is what is planned - and then there is what actually happens.

Which actually was the inspiration for doing this 'peggy sue' timetravel fic, funny how that works out, ne?

Chapter 4: Chunin Test, Suna variant

* * *

"Okay, the first test was pretty tough," noted Naruto. "Half the guys seemed to bail on that."

"Or else the sandworms got 'em," noted Kotetsu.

Naruto nodded. Six teams of Suna genin. Two Grass. Two Stone. Two Rain. One other group from Leaf.

"LISTEN UP, MEATBAGS!" roared a Sand jonin. "This is the second phase of the chunin exams. If you're here for tea and crumpets, you're in the wrong line."

"What's a 'crumpet'?" asked Naruto, earning him glares from the jonin and most of the other victims/test takers.

"Any of you, especially little kids from Leaf, that want to live and try again some other day, you can leave now," continued the jonin, continuing to look directly at Naruto.

Naruto just grinned and crossed his arms behind his head.

"Right," said the jonin. "This second part of the test is going to be grueling. Harsh. Deadly. It's going to take every survival skill you have. It's going to be the sort of harrowing experience that will give you nightmares for months to come."

"Kinda like those sandworm things on the first test?" asked Naruto.

"Well, yes," admitted the jonin. "Only more so."

"Cool!" declared Naruto.

The jonin looked at Naruto as if he couldn't quite believe this kid had gotten this far. "Okay, your task on the second part of the test will start when one member of your team draws a numbered tag like this one from the bin there. You will then draw a slip of paper from this other bin. Your task will be to arrive at THIS spot on the map at the end of the week with the numbered tag listed on your slip of paper, plus your own team's tag. If you lose your team's tag - you fail. If you fail to get the correct tag, you fail. If you fail to survive, well, I'm sure you're all surprised to learn - you FAIL. If any member of your team fails - YOU fail."

"How do we know who's got what tag?" asked one of the Suna genin.

"Use your information gathering skills if necessary," said the jonin as he watched Naruto go up to the bin and pull out a tab.

Holding it aloft, Naruto proclaimed to the group. "Okay, number Seventeen!"

"WHY did you do that?" asked the jonin, twitching a little.

"Because now we only have to really worry about one group, nobody else's going to attack us just to find out what number we've got," said Naruto matter-of-factly. "There'll be some who attack us just because we're there or we're genin or whatever, but everyone else will be concentrating on the group they need to get a tag from."

There was a murmur from the various other genin as they debated the merits and demerits of this course of action.

"Are you NUTS?" asked Kotetsu.

"You really want to spend a week of survival training in the desert in THIS heat?" asked Naruto. "It's gotta be 55oC."

"Uhm, no," admitted Kotetsu. "It's a dry heat though."

"So's an oven and stuff gets cooked pretty well in one. Well, once we find out who is after us," continued Naruto loud enough for his voice to carry, "and we get the tag we need, we can get past all the hanging around in the desert and not be completely wasted when the one-on-one third part of the exam comes around."

"I got six!" said a member of a Suna team, holding up his own tag.

"Hey," said the jonin, protesting that someone had figured out a way to avoid some of the worst of the exam this early.

Some of the other groups followed suit. Some didn't. When they were done though, Izumo went to the other bin and drew a slip of paper that said that the Leaf team would be going after the other Leaf team.

* * *

Naruto leapt to the side, drew kunai, rolled, and came up throwing a spray of the ninja tools at his opponent.

The member of the opposing team looked down at all the black smudges on his shirt from the tar on the blunted kunai and said something very impolite.

"You know," said one of the exam proctors. "You're supposed to use REAL attacks and weapons."

"This is only the second test," pointed out Izumo. "No reason for a lot of genin killing each other. Sure, it can happen. In fact - I expect those Rock genin are a bit bloodthirsty, but so far they've left us alone."

"Komugi," said the girl among the three other Leaf genin. "You couldn't dodge faster?"

"Hey, you got tagged too," pointed out Komugi.

"Well, we can always go on to the next chunin test," pointed out the third member of their group. "One that's in Konoha itself. We'll be ready then."

"Idiot," said the girl. "Hey, you three. Let me know how it goes when you get back. One of you BETTER make chunin if you're gonna kick US out."

Naruto grinned and gave her a thumb's up. "You betcha!"

* * *

The other fight was quickly done, simply because Naruto's team (Team 17) found itself having to face Team 9 (Rain genin) and teamed up with Team Six (Sand genin) who wanted the Team 9 tag.

While the proctors all complained about how Naruto's group was bending the rules and violating the spirit of the test, they all gave Team Seventeen extra points in the secret scoring because of those very reasons. After all, it was a very chunin thing to do.

This also ended up shortening the contest for everyone but four teams who then went out in the desert in 52 degree Celsius weather to kill each other.

Naruto raised a glass of some greenish drink that tinkled with ice in the direction of the desert. "To those brave genin who didn't want anyone to know what their numbers were and are gonna fight in the desert."

"Suffering will make them stronger," said Izumo, raising his own glass.

"Suffering when they don't have to just makes them idiots," said Kotetsu, but he raised his own glass.

"I gotta say," said Naruto, "this ice technique is a surprise. I thought you had to have a special bloodline for that."

"To do anything major - yes," admitted Izumo. "I just use a water technique to purify the water, and a wind technique to cool the water down to freezing. It takes awhile and is a little clumsy, but the results are good."

Temari just sipped on her own drink silently, but was thinking she really wanted to try this out more often herself.

Kankuro grumbled about how soft such practices were. Not that he'd say anything particularly loud to indicate that. They (particularly Temari) might take his drink away.

"Try crushing the ice into a powder and then adding some flavoring," Izumo advised Gaara. "It's called a 'snow cone' and they're fairly popular in some regions."

"Who'd have thought Gaara would have a sweet tooth?" asked Temari of no one in particular as her little brother started making a snow cone. When Gaara glanced at her, she hastened to add that there was certainly nothing WRONG with having a sweet tooth.

Okay, Gaara was sleeping nights now and was somewhat more mellow than he'd been before the sealing expert had reinforced Shukaku's prison. That didn't mean he didn't have issues to resolve still.

"So what was going on with Jiraiya-sensei and Anko-sensei?" asked Naruto.

"That's, well, that is to say," evaded Izumo. "Not for you to learn about for a few years."

"Eh?" asked Naruto.

"They what?" asked Temari, getting it but then boggling at the unwanted images conjured forth by her own imagination.

"THOSE TWO?" asked Kotetsu, getting it but not wanting to.

"Ero-sennin?" asked Naruto once the connection clicked.

"Orochimaru? Where?" asked Kotetsu.

"Uhm, no, the OTHER Ero-sennin," said Naruto, remembering now.

"So what are we going to do for a month?" asked Kotetsu, anxious for a change of subject. "Once this test wraps up, there's a month wait for the individual combat portion. We can stay in Suna, but it's frikking hot."

"Over the next week we're going to have haboob," said Temari. "We have them every year around this time."

"A 'haboob'?" asked Kotetsu, thinking that they were still on pervy subjects.

"It's a kind of sandstorm," explained Temari. "Here in Suna we tend to button everything up pretty tight when they come. It's either that or spend days trying to get the sand and dust out of everything."

"Actually, I've an idea," said Kotetsu, placing an ancient-seeming scroll on the table. "I found this a couple of weeks back and managed to translate some of it."

* * *

The jonin in charge of the test looked over the various genin, his sneer obvious despite the opaque veil covering the lower half of his face.

MOST of the genin looked well-rested and ready to continue. Unusual, but then he'd heard that one of the Leaf shinobi had figured out the bypass for the test while it was being explained. Which meant that this 'Naruto Uzumaki' would have to be watched carefully if relations between Sand and Leaf ever fell apart, as he was capable of thinking outside the box. Which itself meant that no matter how many death traps and pointy little poisoned stakes you put IN the box, if you couldn't get the genin in that box it was all pretty much wasted effort.

The second largest group was more in keeping with what was expected. Sunburned, even the Suna natives, lacking in sleep and food and water. If there had been too many genin surviving the second test, then these would have faced some fights and quickly been weeded out by their better rested competitors. Fortunately, the numbers were sufficiently low that it really wasn't needed.

There had been fourteen (14) groups of three genin passing the first test. Six groups of three surviving the second. Of that, four genin teams looked ready to fight.

Hmmm. Maybe some quick elimination rounds might help anyway.

"One month from today you will all gather here and before an audience demonstrate your skill in the traditional one-on-one matches," said the jonin."When the battles begin they will be until one of three conditions are met. One of you dies, one of you forfeits, or one of you is clearly unable to continue and the match is stopped by a proctor. Dismissed."

* * *

"So, who have you got?" asked Kotetsu when they were all back with Temari and Kankuro.

"One of those guys from that Suna team that helped us beat down the other team," said Naruto. "That guy with the big honkin' sword."

"Oh, him," said Kotetsu. "I got someone from Wave. The one with the weird fish-eyes."

"I got one of the other guys from Suna," said Izumo. "The earth ninjutsu specialist."

"So what about these ruins?" asked Naruto, opening a scroll on ninja-wire work and preparing to study.

"They're off the beaten track, about three days away, hostile desert terrain, the local bandits stay away because of the legends of 'hungry ghosts'," said Kotetsu.

"I'd stay away from it normally, just in case," said Izumo. "But things have been going pretty good lately. Let's give it a shot."

* * *

"Hinata's grades have been excellent," said Iruka. "I have no doubt she could take the test now and graduate."

"She's that good?" asked Kurenai Yuhi. "I thought she had some issues regarding self-confidence."

"She does," said Iruka. "As I said, her 'grades' are excellent. She's one of the best in the class when it comes to taijutsu, apparently using her family style is against the policy of the Hyuga clan inside the Academy. She uses another style altogether, but it is a fairly effective one. I'd rate her a two and a half of five in taijutsu right now. The only ones in the class who score better are Sasuke Uchiha and maybe Choji. Choji has shown a lot of improvement after the first time she beat him, so he might simply be better as a result of the teasing that followed that. Not from Hinata who actually apologized for beating him, but from some of the other girls."

"Considering the differences in their size, I'd imagine he DID take that a little harshly," said Kurenai as she pictured the match-up.

"She has a good grounding on basic ninjutsu as well," said Iruka. "You remember Naruto Uzumaki?"

"The Kyubi's container who graduated two years early and is off in Suna taking the chunin exam?" asked Kurenai. "Yes, I'm friends with Anko - who is his jonin sensei for now."

"For now?" asked Iruka.

"She's not really happy with 'babysitting' anyone," said Kurenai in a tone that indicated a massive understatement was being made.

"Naruto's taken a particular interest in her," said Iruka. "He apparently determined her elemental affinity and has been getting her low grade Wind and Water technique scrolls as a result."

"Are they..." Kurenai let her voice trail off as she held up one hand with the pinky extended.

Iruka Umino hesitated but nodded. "I think so. She's certainly interested in him in that way, I don't know about the reverse but all things considered - probably it goes both ways to some extent."

"They're all of ten?" asked Kurenai, shaking her head.

"Naruto was such a 'knucklehead' but apparently he does a lot better when it's not a WRITTEN test," said Iruka.

Kurenai nodded. "My mission calendar looks pretty full right now. If it clears up, I'd be interested in seeing what kind of kunoichi she makes."

* * *

"THAT is the craziest genin I've ever met," said Izumo, glancing back at the gates of Suna.

"No argument," said Naruto, amazed at someone accomplishing that feat.

"I couldn't understand half what he said," admitted Kotetsu. "What's a 'roxxors' anyway?"

"Who is Lowell? What's a fatahwa?" asked Naruto, shrugging. "I don't know. Don't care. Heck, he's crazier than most of the JONIN I've met."

"That IS bad," agreed Izumo. "Ninja Inverse Sanity Rule. The higher the rank of the ninja, the more bat-crazy they're likely to be."

"If that guy ever hits jonin, it'll be pretty darn worrisome," added Kotetsu.

* * *

Toltiir was a god of mischief, though only a fragment of him was paying attention to the progress of Naruto.

Nonetheless he HAD dabbled a bit, nudged things a few times. The temple that they were heading for was a prime example.

Which was why the "temple" the trio were following an ancient-seeming map to was actually an ancient lab used during the time of the Sage Of Six Paths.

Oh yes, this could be amusing.

* * *

It wasn't notated anywhere, it might even just be this universe only, but Kotetsu was a history buff.

Izumo Kamizuki was a bit of a work-aholic. Serious. Code specialist who worked on suduko puzzles in his spare time.

Kotetsu Hagane was somewhat lazy. Prone to rely on his dai-kunai and only pull out his Conch Shell Mace for special occasions. Though he was a fair hand with genjutsu, he'd prefer to kick back and snack when he could get away with it.

The exception was when Kotetsu was faced with something pertaining to the past, particularly the ancient past. He was something of a history-otaku in that he could get intense on subjects dealing with ancient myth and lore.

Toltiir sat back and watched the entertainment with the sort of patience that a lifespan of billions of years developed.

* * *

"So what CAN you tell us about this thing?" asked Naruto as the Village Hidden In The Sand was left behind them.

"What do you know about history before the founding of the village?" responded Kotetsu.

"Not much, they didn't go into history all that much in the Academy," admitted Naruto.

"Okay," said Kotetsu. "Konohagakure was the first of the ninja villages to be founded. Before that are a lot of various tales and legends, some completely contradictory."

"Right," said Naruto, following that so far.

"Most accountings," put in Izumo, "have two major clans which fought for dominance prior to the villages. Senju clan and the Uchiha clan."

"Granny Tsunade's clan and Sasuke's clan," said Naruto, having heard all this before but not sure how much he was to reveal he knew.

"'Granny'?" asked Izumo.

"Well, sort of," said Naruto with a grimace. "Actually a godmother or something like that. I hear it's a high-level secret though. Sorry."

Izumo actually relaxed slightly. _There's one mystery solved. If Naruto is related to the Senju clan, even through a godparent, then that explains why he can pull jutsu out of his butt like that. Probably exposed to a lot of that sort of thing early in life. Smuggled scrolls to him. Yeah, that makes sense._

"Back in that time, ninja battles were everywhere, and there weren't any rules regarding them," said Kotetsu. "Records of those times were mostly lost due to the constant fighting. That's why a site like this, predating those wars, is so important."

"So, really old stuff?" asked Naruto.

"About six hundred years or so," said Kotetsu. "The Sage of Six Paths was the founder of modern ninjutsu and genjutsu. Prior to that was a time of destruction with even less information available. It is said by some that there was a great beast of that time, the precursor of the Tailed Beasts, which the Sage defeated. It was only with that beast unable to rage again that mankind was able to rebuild."

"Which hints that there was a civilization before the Ten Tailed Beast arrived or was formed or whatever," said Izumo. "You occasionally see bits and pieces of that ancient technology, mainly imported from outside the Five Nations as people try to duplicate that old stuff."

"Like outboard motors," said Naruto. He'd heard about this sort of thing too. Not much. Maybe he should ask that time-travelling cat-being about this. Too bad he didn't have a way to do it.

"Right," said Kotetsu. "Good example. Also the radios we use."

"So, what's this temple and how does that fit in with all this?" asked Naruto.

"The temple dates back to the time of the Sage," said Kotetsu. "The scrap of information I found on it indicated the Sage was fond of using elaborate rituals and this was a place he did something at. What he did - that isn't clear."

"Mind you, that ignores all the stories where one or more of the villages was founded at the beginning of the universe by the gods or something," put in Izumo.

"That's still kind of... We're being followed," said Naruto, leaping over a scorpion and coming to a stop behind a dune.

"Putting up a cover," said Kotetsu, landing next to Naruto and going through handseals quickly.

Izumo stopped behind the two and readied himself.

After a few moments, Naruto peeked over the top of the dune.

"Did you forget someone, gaki?" asked Jiraiya, apparently ignoring the genjutsu Kotetsu had just thrown up.

Anko merely scowled.

"Actually, we figured you were kind of busy," said Naruto.

"We ARE responsible for you genin," said Anko, sounding very very disapproving.

"So what's this about going out and doing some intensive training in the desert?" asked Jiraiya.

"That was what we told Temari and the others," said Izumo.

Kotetsu sighed at the wasted effort and began to fill the two new arrivals on their self-assigned mission.

* * *

In a space outside of normal space/time, something that looked like a black cat reached over and flicked a switch on a boombox.

That nobody else could hear theme music from various movies blaring out was beside the point.

It was an atmosphere thing, and those were important.

* * *

Kotetsu and Izumo investigated the rip in the ground, finding it clear enough to wave the others in.

Once out of the wind-blown dust and sand in what was at least relative shelter, there was a collective sigh of relief.

"No wonder they have to import all their food," complained Anko, spitting sand out of her mouth.

"Not all of it, just a lot," said Naruto, defending the homeland of some friends of his automatically.

"Well, this is it," said Kotetsu, brushing a section of wall off to reveal carvings.

"Why didn't the people who found it investigate?" asked Naruto, thinking that it would be a natural thing to do.

"Two reasons, the first being they were on a mission," said Kotetsu. "The second was air."

"Air?" asked Naruto.

"This thing was sealed up centuries ago," said Kotetsu. "If we come to any sealed doors, we open them and wait before entering."

"First we check for traps and other nasty surprises," said Izumo. "Remember those ruins in the jungle."

"One little incident," said Kotetsu, waving off his frequent partner.

"One little incident with flooding tunnels, summoned shark-monsters, and pygmy zombie cannibals," added Izumo.

"Details, details," said Kotetsu.

"'Zombie cannibals'?" asked Anko, thinking that sounded like something a certain snakey shinobi might use.

"Oh yeah, those can be a pain," said Naruto, who'd never run into such a thing that he could remember off the top of his head. Hadn't there been something similar though, once or twice?

"Let's see," said Kotetsu, finding the break in the floor of the rift/ceiling of the complex. "Anyone want to use a lighting jutsu?"

Naruto took a lantern out of his pack and started lighting it.

"I thought you'd have a jutsu for that," pointed out Izumo.

"Yeah, but if there's something to detect chakra use, this won't trigger it," said Naruto, sliding the little glass panel into place.

"On the other hand, a jutsu won't go exploding any pockets of natural gas," pointed out Izumo.

Naruto looked at Izumo, looked at the lamp, then down at the hole before speaking. "So... I guess we leave the lantern somewhere near the exit so we can find our way back?"

"That might work," agreed Izumo. "Nice to see we're all thinking ahead."

"Very chunin-like," added Kotetsu.

Jiraiya and Anko both made noncommital noises, knowing that they COULD recommend such a thing when they got back to Konoha and it might push the three closer towards acceptance of those ranks.

Well, they'd just have to see how it went.

* * *

Iruka heard the sound of ceramic cracking and immediately leapt for the teacup on the table.

Especially as he was in the middle of grading papers and had just stepped off for a moment.

While he was fast, he wasn't THAT fast. So he immediately had a lot of wet runny test papers.

* * *

Hinata was frowning at the sudden feeling of something wrong but couldn't see exactly what it was that had triggered the feeling.

Her texts of medical jutsu were spread out before her, and she had kept the fish alive through chakra manipulation despite it being out of the water.

Hinata let the fish back into the tank, then went to the window to look out at Konoha. She couldn't see anything that would explain the odd sense of unease though.

* * *

"Old," said Kotetsu, his usual bored-sounding voice replaced with almost a childlike eagerness as he examined the writings on the wall.

"What kind of language is that anyway?" asked Naruto.

"One of the old lost languages," said Izumo.

"Can you read this as well?" asked Jiraiya.

"A bit," said Izumo. "Mainly I work with modern languages that are encrypted. There's some crossover though. The problem is that so much of that language, we don't have all the symbols and it's purely phonetic."

"'phonetic'?" asked Naruto softly.

"Sound-based, like hiragana or katakana," said Jiraiya. "No kanji?"

"No ideograms at all," said Izumo. "So the script tends to take up more space, but since we don't know what all the words mean, we can only infer their meaning from context and since we don't know much of the originating culture - some of which we think we know may not be as accurate as we'd like."

_CREAK!_ went a nearby door as Anko opened it.

"Don't do that, you might set off a trap," said Izumo.

"Hey, who's the jonin here, and who's the genin?" asked Anko, summoning a snake and sending it off into the darkness.

_CLAK!_

All the humans present stiffened and looked in the direction of the opened door that the snake had gone through.

_CLUNK!_

Everyone's head swiveled around to look down the corridor that they'd entered from.

"Did that sound like -" began Jiraiya.

"-some sort of barrier slamming into place down the way we came?" finished Naruto.

_RUMBLE!_

"That didn't sound good," said Kotetsu.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," noted Izumo.

_clik-kaCHUNK-rattle-rattle-rattle._

_CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!_

Izumo was quick to act as the animated statue of some warrior approached. "Suiton: Mizuame Nabara!"

After watching the genin puke up a few gallons of syrup, Naruto wondered if he could learn that. It looked suitably gross and disgusting for a number of purposes.

The mechanical got to the edge of the field, looked down at it, then a mechanical mouth ratcheted open.

Flames began spewing out.

"Okay, this isn't good," said Kotetsu.

Anko slapped the ground. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"

A large serpent appeared in a puff of smoke. "Whatssss thisss? Anko, why do you ssummon me for thisss?"

"Because it's not alive and a poison snake won't do anything, you're a constrictor," said Anko.

"Who sssaid I wass fireproof?" yelped the snake, trying to avoid being roasted.

"Well, I don't -"

_Whippppppppppppppppppp-thunk. BOOM!_

"Explosive tags, gotta love 'em," said Naruto.

"Did you think before you used an explosive tag in the middle of an ancient and potentially unstable building?" asked Jiraiya.

"Oh," said Naruto just before the floor collapsed.

* * *

Naruto picked himself off out of the darkness. Nothing but darkness. Funky-smelling darkness. He'd landed on stone?

No lantern, THAT was back at the first junction they'd come to, and was now probably cheerfully lighting empty corridors. So, that meant using a jutsu.

"Katon: Rousoku!"

Frowning at the problems with the jutsu, and missing his lantern anew, Naruto looked around in the flickering light provided by the jutsu.

One, it caused a little ball of fire to hover over his finger. Two, it was difficult to maintain. Any little startlement or distraction and it could go out. Three, it wasn't nearly as bright as his lantern.

On the other hand, it was LESS chakra-intensive than the version that Jiraiya-sensei had used. Considering where he was, he might need all the chakra he could get.

The room was old, very old. Fitted stone everywhere. On the other hand, there was something he could see now that was VERY welcome.

Using his little ball of flame to light the candles on a stand, Naruto could then survey his surroundings more fully.

"Well, good thing I thought ahead," said Naruto after studying the walls and ceiling. The bulk of his pack was a single large scroll, blank.

Storing these scrolls and charts and stuff would probably take half the available surface and most of the ink he had. But he'd better get started right away. He had this feeling that Jiraiya and Anko would count that little fall against him when it came time for chunin recommendations.

* * *

Jiraiya flipped the limb of the giant spider over so that it would cook evenly all the way through. "All I'm saying is that when the recommendations for chunin advancement come in, we keep in mind this little adventure."

"Yesssss," said the snake. "Paybacksss are important."

"Don't look at me when you say that, or I'll mention snakeskin handbags and how much I could get for them," said Anko.

"Sssss, you wound me, dear Anko," hissed the snake.

"Not yet, I haven't," said Anko.

"So, if you don't get along with this guy," said Izumo, "why summon him?"

"Who says I don't get along with him?" asked Anko, looking puzzled.

"Actually, I think I'm one of her favoritessss," hissed the snake, shaking his head and upper third of his body in an attempt to mimic a human gesture.

"Well, I wouldn't summon YOU if I didn't need help," said Anko.

"I'd jusst prefer if it wasss for my vasst knowledge and not as a meat-ssshield," grumped the snake.

"Vast knowledge?" asked Izumo.

"I'm a bit of a ssscholar," admitted the serpent.

"Really?" asked Izumo.

"Ugh, yes," said Anko, making a dismissive gesture. "Given half a chance he'll bore you to sleep with all sorts of trivia about trees and branches."

"Botany?" asked Izumo.

"Genealogy and geneticssss," corrected the snake, warming somewhat to the human with the floppy hair. At least he pretended to be interested. That was more than Anko ever did.

A shape moved in the darkness. Followed by several thunking noises as it was hit with lots of kunai.

"So why is he one of your favorites if you're not interested in genetics?" asked Izumo.

"Lot of questions out of you," noted Anko.

"Not like we have any pressing business," said Izumo.

"A snake summons scholar whose area of expertise is genealogy?" asked Jiraiya, giving the spider leg a half-turn. "Admittedly, combat summons are a lot more common in our line of work."

"I'm alsso well acquainted with a number of languagesss, mathematicsss, and sssome of the more exotic human nationsss," said the snake. "I'm Kahliff, by the way. I'm alssso fairly ssspeedy and employed asss a messsenger frequently."

"Hello, Kahliff," said Izumo and Jiraiya.

"Where do you suppose Naruto is?" asked Jiraiya a moment later.

"One of the labsss, I sssuppose," said Kahliff.

"'labs'?" asked Izumo, tensing.

"Yesss," said Kahliff. "The writing your friend wasss reading wasss one of the Old World languages. Eigo, I think it was called. The writing itsssself wasss a directory."

"'Eigo'?" asked Izumo.

"Well, it wasss either a language or a sssmall breaded thing from their breakfassstsss that involved a combat ritual upon releassse from the baking device," said Kahliff. "Sssome of the their cussstomss were quite ssstrange."

"Don't believe everything he says," cautioned Anko. "He's a bullstuff artist."

"Well, if Kotetsu ended up in a lab, that would explain why he isn't around either," noted Izumo.

"I don't suppose you could tell from that 'directory' what they researched here?" asked Jiraiya.

"Two of the labsss were marked for sssummoningsss and for ssspellsss," hissed the snake, somewhat happy to be able to use his expertise as something besides a meat-shield for Anko or to go rushing off to deliver a message scroll.

"Sss - ugh. 'Spells'," asked Izumo, making a face as he'd started hissing things out.

"Old term for what you call jutsssu nowadaysss," said Kahliff.

"Why don't you look around this room and see if you can spot any more writing?" asked Jiraiya.

"There'ssss ssstill one more of those ssspidersss," said Kahliff, looking as apologetic as twelve feet of constrictor snake could manage. "I'm not good with poisssonsss."

_Ka-thunk ka-thunk ka-thunk ka-thunk ka-thunk._

"That doesss nicely," said Kahliff with a nod of approval. "Nice placement. I'll be right back."


	5. Chapter 5:Tomb Raiders

Mischief Fragment, Rewind  
by Greylle  
DISCLAIMER: characters from Naruto, setting by Kishimoto, weirdness from me.

Note that this also was first published on the Anime Addventure under another pseudonym, Kestral. i started several of these Mischief threads, trying to find one that would prove to be sufficiently popular that i could drop the rest and just concentrate on one.

Well, like much of my life, there is what is planned - and then there is what actually happens.

Which actually was the inspiration for doing this 'peggy sue' timetravel fic, funny how that works out, ne?

Chapter 5: Tomb Raiders

* * *

Naruto's pack slowly slid to the ground as he looked around the room.

Then everything went dark and he had to use that candle-lighting jutsu again. He pulled down a lantern from a wall-hook and tried to light it for several minutes before realizing that the fuel had likely evaporated.

Back to candles.

At which point he stuffed everything he could in the largest chest he could find and then put that in a storage seal.

"Old man Ichiraku is gonna have a GOOD year," vowed Naruto as he began stuffing his backpack with as much as he could.

_(KLUNK-RATTLE!)_

Naruto looked at the little statue he'd just moved. His eyes traced the chain that went into a little hole in the wall.

"Uh oh," summed up Naruto.

_(Ptoo! clatter)_

Naruto looked down at the javelin which had just barely managed to clear the launcher. "Oh. Right. Hundreds of years old spring-loaded mechanism. Huh."

* * *

The door creaked open as Kotetsu threw his weight against it again. This time though, the grit and gunk holding the door closed gave way.

"Nothing," said Kotetsu as he looked over the odd room. The sigils burned into the room's walls and ceilings and floors though - they looked oddly familiar.

Kotetsu walked around, looking at them and trying to place where he'd seen them before.

The big pit in the center he wasn't too sure about, other than it seemed to radiate cold.

Kotetsu was only a genin, but he HAD been in dangerous situations. When his instincts started screaming danger, he listened. Drawing his kunai, he began backing up. That he made it three steps before a faint glow appeared in that pit merely confirmed something BAD happening in his well-informed ninja opinion. The smell reaching him merely reinforced his professional opinion.

"Kotetsu's Rules Of Shinobi Conduct #4," said Kotetsu aloud but to himself. "When confronted by strange glows and the smell of rotting meat coming from a hole in the ground, the mission has gone south and it is time to run like hell."

Kotetsu closed the doors to the strange room and proceeded to run as if something very nasty and possibly infernal were in pursuit. Mainly because he was afraid that was exactly what was occurring.

He'd gotten down two corridors before he heard a sound he tentatively identified as those doors he'd just closed being ripped off their hinges. He discovered it was indeed possible to run a bit faster.

* * *

"Thissss isss very interesssting," hissed Kahliff. "Very interesssting indeed."

"How so?" asked Jiraiya, munching on a spider leg.

"How can you eat that stuff?" asked Anko.

"I've eaten worse," said Jiraiya. "So what's interesting?"

"Oh, thiss basse wasss not lossst, it was abandoned," said Kahliff. "Sssealed away hurriedly lessst that which wasss within esscaped."

"The Sage Of The Six Paths couldn't deal with something?" asked Anko.

"The Sssage was apparently not presssent at the end of thisss complex's life," said Kahliff. "Notice thisss here. The ssscholarsss were sssealing up thingsss preparing for the return of the Sssage."

"I can see why you are reluctant to summon this fellow, all that hissing gets on one's nerves," said Jiraiya.

"You want lessss hisssing, you ssshould have gotten ravensss for your sssummoningsss," hissed Kahliff, quite irritated.

"Then you'd have to put up with all the caws and croaks," said Jiraiya.

"Croaksss? Ssso sssays the TOAD sssage," countered Kahliff.

"Oh, go hypnotize some prey somewhere," said Anko, dismissing her summon in a puff of smoke.

"So he's one of your favorites?" asked Jiraiya.

"He can actually carry a conversation and has an attention span longer than a few minutes," said Anko with a shrug. "I just summon him as a meat-shield in order to irritate him."

"Whatever works," said Izumo.

_(BOOM!)_

"Okay, that didn't sound good," said Izumo, looking in the direction of the muffled explosion.

A bobbing light and the sound of running feet from one corridor gave them their second indication of a problem.

Kotetsu ran past them at high speed. "Bad day, bad day, REALLY bad day!"

"Oh hell, not again," said Izumo.

* * *

The rumbles continued to build, being as much felt as heard.

"Oh, this is so very very NOT good," said Jiraiya, who had enough experience as a ninja to have encountered situations like this before.

Dust and little bits of ceiling pattered down.

"I don't see what you're so worried about," said Anko.

_CRASH!_

Jiraiya checked Anko's head and determined that the chunk of ceiling that had just come down on it had not been sufficient to kill her. Leave her woozy and her legs trying to go in different directions, yes. Concussion, almost certainly. "Izumo. Can you be certain your friend is going in the right direction?"

"Uhm, no, not really, no," indicated Izumo.

"Right then," said Jiraiya, handing off the fishnet-wearing kunoichi to the genin. Jiraiya walked up the wall and proceeded to Rasengan a hole in the ceiling.

"Isn't that going to speed up the collapse?" asked Izumo as he clumsily dodged falling bits of ceiling while carrying a limp Anko.

"Yes, but this is the fastest way out with a wounded comrade," pointed out Jiraiya. "Keep close and behind me."

A high pitched screech elsewhere in the complex indicated to Izumo that being near one of the legendary Sannin No Konohagakure was probably prudent.

* * *

"CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN?"

He'd lived a fair amount of time, despite being in his younger body now. To be fair, it hadn't always happened that his mission had been successful but collateral damage had made it only a 'qualified success' - it had just been a frequent event. Sometimes the events surrounding the mission had been such that even when he'd succeeded in the main mission objective, it had been more of a 'qualified failure' instead. Such as saving one merchant's stall from a missing-nin's protection scam only to lose most of the market in the resulting fight.

This was beginning to resemble one of THOSE missions he'd taken in the ANBU days in the future. There'd been a few of those with the whole 'escape the building as it collapses' endings too.

Naruto dodged a large chunk of ceiling as it crashed in the corridor, leapt over a pile of already-fallen ceiling, and ducked under a section of ceiling that was sagging.

Something screamed in a high pitched wail that shifted high-lower-high.

"And what the HELL is that?" demanded Naruto of the walls. Whatever it was managed to sound pissed and completely nasty. The last time he'd heard anything like THAT was...

Naruto stumbled. "Oh man. It couldn't be one of THOSE could it?"

Naruto shook his head as he dodged a bladed pendulum swinging down, then over a stream of needles launched from the wall. "No. Couldn't be. Those things make that kinda noise but not so high-pitched."

One of the walls behind him exploded as something smashed through it. Naruto caught a glimpse through the dust of gleaming black chiton.

"Aw hell, it IS," yelped Naruto as he dodged around a corner and accelerated. "I may have to use THAT jutsu. Can I pull it off with my current chakra reserves?"

* * *

Jiraiya stood on the more stable sands a little distance from the underground complex. Beside him was Izumo, the semi-conscious Anko, and a heavily exhausted Kotetsu.

"So what did you get?" asked Izumo as a geyser of flame and lightning erupted skyward from the entry they'd used.

"A bag of gemstones and a scroll that seems to be fire-jutsu," said Kotetsu.

"Let me see it," said Jiraiya, holding out a hand. When he read it, he frowned for a few moments. "Yes, this is a version of the Fire Release: Fire Dragon Flame Missile. An early version I'd say, as it looks less efficient than the version I'm familiar with."

"Oh, so it's useless?" asked Kotetsu.

"No, not really," said Jiraiya. "A jutsu expert could compare the two and might be able to further develop the modern version based on that. We'll just have to see. If nothing else, it's still a B-Rank offensive short to medium range jutsu."

"Oh," said Kotetsu, still regretting it wasn't a Lost Jutsu or something really rare.

"I... what the?" asked Jiraiya, spinning back to look in the direction of the complex.

This geyser was wind surrounding a core of lightning that started spreading out.

"That's..." said Jiraiya, eyes narrowed now.

"Impressive?" asked Kotetsu.

"No, it's an S-Rank technique," said Jiraiya. "Requires a lot of chakra. Heaven's Clash. Requires the use of two chakra types, wind and lightning, then combining them. It's classified as a Squad-Killer, with a wide area of effect. It has its problems though."

"Such as blowing up everything around the user?" asked Izumo.

"Good guess," said Jiraiya as the complex continued to heave up, drop down, get electrified and whipped around by high winds.

"Was that... a leg?" asked Izumo as something spun around in the central vortex.

"Couldn't be," said Jiraiya, though he sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

With a final boom the complex disappeared and the jutsu dissipated, leaving a smouldering human figure where it had raged.

Jiraiya examined the kid, put out the fires started in his clothing, frowned thoughtfully at the acid burns and peeled off the affected items of clothing, and declared Naruto would survive.

* * *

"How many scrolls did he take?"

Naruto stirred. They'd searched him while unconscious? That wasn't very sporting.

"It looks like he's got three. We'll have to give the Kazekage one, as this WAS found in their territory."

Naruto felt a little relief as he struggled to open his eyes. They hadn't found EVERYTHING.

"Kid collects maps, eh? Sounds like a friend of mine, she's one of those 'no useless information' types."

* * *

_Two weeks later:_  
When the second part of the chunin exams had started, it was down to: 2 Leaf teams, 6 Sand teams, 2 Grass teams, 2 Stone, and 2 Rain.

When the second part had ended, there was 1 Leaf, 3 Sand, 1 Grass, 1 Stone, and 1 Rain.

When the month hiatus between the second and third had finished, Rain had dropped out. Not everyone on all the teams was able to participate though. There had been two brawls, one case of food poisoning, a "personal reasons" drop out, and a shoplifting arrest.

"Let the third stage of the Chunin Exams BEGIN! Let's get ready to !"

"Hitomi Kisugi of the Village Hidden In The Stone. Miki of the Grass. Begin"

"A taijutsu expert," said Jiraiya, looking at Hitomi briefly as the two women circled each other. "Miki's going to win this one."

"You know that 'Miki' girl?" asked Anko.

"Not that way," said Jiraiya with a grin. "Her boyfriend is one of my contacts in Grass. Guy named Umibozu the Falcon. Umibozu's originally from elsewhere, was a jonin, now retired to open a small cafe in Grass. Still formidable though."

"Oh," said Anko. "What about that Hitomi girl?"

"Kisugi family," said Jiraiya. "Infiltration specialists. The clan head is Rui. Not familiar with the younger sisters. Just the way she moves indicates to me she's a taijutsu specialist."

"Hmph," said Anko, frowning as she watched the two go at it. Something caught her interest though. "Hey, she's-"

"Yup, over, she's caught in a genjutsu now," said Jiraiya with a nod as Miki stepped behind the now-unmoving Hitomi and struck.

"Hitomi Kisugi is unable to fight, Miki of Grass is the winner!" announced the referee.

Jiraiya looked around the stadium. "Not many people here."

"It's an open-air stadium, the temperature's going to pass a hundred," pointed out Anko.

"Point taken," admitted Jiraiya.

"Kotetsu's up next," said Anko.

"Yes, I'm interested in seeing his opponent," said Jiraiya. "In the case of him and Izumo, it all comes down to what kind of an opponent they draw."

"From Leaf," said the announcer. "Kotetsu Hagane of Leaf. Chiyo Mihama of Grass."

"You gotta be kidding me!" exclaimed Kotetsu.

"I- I- I won't give up!" said the very little girl. "Here I come. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh AHHHH!" (_K-thud!_)

"Chiyo is unable to fight. Hagane wins."

"I never thought I would feel so sorry for my opponent in the chunin exams," said Kotetsu as he looked at where the little girl had tripped over a rock and knocked herself out.

There were a few boos as Kotetsu went back to the Participant seating.

"The third genin in the Grass team must be formidable," noted Jiraiya. "The little girl was probably a ninjutsu or genjutsu specialist or an academic. Hitomi was taijutsu. So someone on their team would have to have some pretty good mid-range skills or be able to slow down opponents."

"I thought Kotetsu was going to face someone from Wave," said Anko.

"Wave doesn't HAVE ninja," said Jiraiya. "He likely meant Rain, and Rain dropped out."

"Oh, here's Naruto," said Anko, perking up.

"Let's hope this is a little better showing," said Jiraiya.

"Leaf - Naruto Uzumaki. Suna - Auron. You may begin!"

* * *

Naruto dodged, leapt, and otherwise kept his fragile skin from being neatly bisected by the guy after him. He vaguely resembled Kiba doing something like this when the first lifetime had had its Chunin Exam. Keeping him too busy surviving to pull off something impressive WAS a valid tactic after all.

He was REALLY wanting to engage in snappy banter and ask something that had been bugging him since the selection process for the Second Test, which was that this guy looked a LOT like one of the Aburame family. He even had the glasses. He just didn't have the bugs, using a Big Freaking Sword instead. Which reminded him more of that Zabuza guy than anyone else. Though frankly, Auron seemed way cooler.

To Naruto's way of thinking, being cool was just one of the many things in a proper ninja's job description. Being sneaky was way down that list. Unless you were on an ANBU mission, in which case the order was reversed. ANBU missions though, weren't fun. Better to be cool.

The odd thing was that the crowd (such as there was, it looked like the stadium could hold ten people for every one that was actually there) was mostly silent.

Finally the guy had to stop and catch his breath.

"Hey, are you an Aburame by any chance?" asked Naruto finally.

"I'm... no longer of that clan," said Auron.

"Okay," said Naruto, eyeing the warrior now walking around and quite obviously considering angles of attacks. Now that the banter was going on, he could start drawing chakra up to ready for the next jutsu. "That's cool, I know an Aburame. Shino."

Auron continued to remain silent, not giving any further details.

"Aw, c'mon, how am I supposed to keep a witty banter going with you not participating?" asked Naruto.

"I don't see the need," said Auron.

"We're being GRADED on this," said Naruto. "That's probably why you're so old but still a genin."

"Not quite," said Auron, raising the jug of booze suspended from his belt and taking a swig. Then he spit the stuff out over his blade.

Naruto was already going through handseals as quickly as he could.

"Tornado!"

"Kage Bunshin!"

"Power Break!"

"Rasengan!"

"Iron Wall!"

"Fuuton: Shinkuugyoku!"

* * *

"Huh, so he knows the 'Wind Release: Vaccuum Sphere' technique," mused Jiraiya. "If Danzo ever finds out, he'll be quite annoyed."

Anko snorted. "Naruto breathing probably annoys Danzo."

"Truth," acknowledged Jiraiya.

"So he's not using Summoning Techniques?" asked Anko. "I thought you had him sign on with the toads."

"He did," said Jiraiya. "The funny thing is, some of the toads acted like they'd already met him."

Anko glanced at Jiraiya as the old man got the thoughtful expression she'd caught on his face a few times since they'd met. "Something bothering you?"

"I have a theory about some things that have been bothering me about Naruto," said Jiraiya. "The problem is, the only thing I've come up with that answers all the questions is flagrantly impossible."

"'Impossible'?" asked Anko, thinking that fit Naruto pretty well.

"Too unthinkably bizarre and unlikely to even bear repeating," said Jiraiya.

"Mysterious much?" asked Anko.

"As a wandering novelist and one of the legendary three ninja of Konoha, I have to be mysterious," Jiraiya informed her seriously. "It's in the job description."

"Not going to tell me your theory?" asked Anko, thinking she could try torturing the information out of him later when they were alone and both could properly enjoy it.

"No, because if that impossibility turned out to be correct," said Jiraiya, "the repercussions would be... considerable. Also something that would cause me to go off by myself and get very very drunk before I could even begin to contemplate what it all meant."

"That bad?" asked Anko. "Worse than certain prisoners?"

"If I'm right, Naruto is the key to avoiding something worse to the extent my own mind wants to go find a place to hide from the thought of it," said Jiraiya, who could honestly be mysterious all day if it came to it.

Anko shuddered and found herself taking a step closer to Jiraiya, which put her right against his side. "That... sounds bad."

"Ah, Naruto's won," said Jiraiya, glad of the chance to change subjects that he'd really rather not examine while fully sober.

"Good," said Anko. "So we've given one treasure scroll to the Kazekage, that leaves one for the Hokage. You didn't say anything to Naruto about the one he was keeping hidden."

"He's a ninja, of course he's keeping something back," said Jiraiya. "Frankly, unless they screw up royally, I expect all three to make chunin."

"I'm putting in for Naruto not to make chunin," said Anko.

"Why?" asked Jiraiya as two more genin fought it out below them. "He has enough different jutsu, has mastered some of them adequately. He's got two elemental natures he's able to draw on. He has a summoning contract. Ability to plan ahead, though he doesn't always do it. He's a bit young, but there have been younger candidates in ANBU and reaching jonin."

"Actually, I'm going to suggest he make it to 'special jonin'," said Anko with a nearly feral grin. "Wants to give authorities like us problems? Well, why not make HIM the responsible one?"

"That's evil," said Jiraiya.

"Flatterer," said Anko.

"I like it," continued Jiraiya.

* * *

"Well," said Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, "this is certainly an unusual set of events."

Danzo Shimura was ready to state his opposition to the proceedings. He was ready to denounce any favoritism towards the Demon Fox. His subtle chess game with the Third, in which he'd continually struggled to have the Demon Fox as friendless and vulnerable to become one of his pawns, was not something he was willing to completely concede as a failure.

Not yet anyway.

His eyes flicked to his two associates. With the powers of Shisui's influence-eye under his command, he could count on these two backing whatever play he put forward. They'd long since become his supporters. Which should have clued Hiruzen in as neither Koharu Utatane nor Homura Mitokado had been particularly inclined to be his followers back when they'd all been jonin of the Leaf.

The Inner Council was simply Koharu, Homura, and the Hokage. The full Council, such as this was, included clan heads and civilian representitives.

"How much money is involved?" asked Homura, his glasses hanging off of one ear and his eyes glazed and unfocussed.

Koharu snorted. "Old man, you're slipping. The paper's still in front of you."

"Gold and jewels, scrolls previously lost to time, ancient fragments of lore and art," said the Third Hokage. "This is what Naruto Uzumaki has brought us."

"..." Homura just mouthed the same words as before, his brain still apparently knocked offline.

"All of this merely proves that the Fox Container should be kept safely locked up," offered Kohaku.

"Uhm, excuse me, honored elder," said the Yamanaka clan head, looking up from his careful examination of one of the scrolls that had been sealed in the large scroll that Naruto had given over to the Hokage. "Have you gone senile?"

"WHAT?" asked Kohaku, apparently ready to come down off her chair and kick someone's butt.

"Look at these!" said Inoichi Yamanaka. "He gave the Kazekage one scroll he'd sealed some gold and gemstones in. This one has a modest amount of the same-"

Homura gave a strained little laugh.

"-but it's the INFORMATION in these surviving documents that is by far the greater treasure," continued Inoichi. "You want to reward someone who did this and managed to placate a foreign lord while sneaking this away under his nose?"

Kohaku frowned. "We should have gotten all of it."

"No, I agree with Naruto's judgement here," put in the Third Hokage. "It was found in their land, and therefore under their jurisdiction. We'll make copies of what we are able to translate and make it available to Sand at some point. Probably as part of a trade concession or something."

"Based on their performance at the Chunin Exams," said Inoichi. "I'd be inclined to give all three chunin rank. I understand Master Jiraiya and special jonin Mitarashi have recommended that Naruto Uzumaki be given the rank of Special Jonin. I disagree. I think he should be tested for jonin."

Homura twitched a little more, Kohaku's jaw dropped. Hiruzen Sarutobi smirked for just a tiny moment, and that might have just been caused by Danzo looking as if he was about to suffer a stroke right there and then.

"Hmmm, interesting," said the Third Hokage. "Why?"

Shibi Aburame spoke up before Inoichi could. "I believe I have come to the same conclusion due to the same logic. We have a number of jonin who are perfectly suited to assassinations and conflict situations. Not that Uzumaki is ill-suited to such. His performance on the test itself though was that of a leader. He managed to turn the test on its head, find loopholes to exploit, and forge alliances on the fly. My clan understands what it is like to be judged for that which is within you, and to be prejudiced against. The boy shows no sign of resentment for such, instead his major goal is to assist members of his previous class. It is my recommendation therefore that the path to jonin be made available to him that he might lead those classmates upon their graduation."

"Well," said Inoichi. "That's part of it, yeah. Partly I've examined Naruto. He's not being controlled or even influenced by the Fox so that's not a consideration. He's got some pretty strong shielding, but he's more intelligent and more disciplined than you'd expect. I also found some things in there I can't discuss openly but further indicate his loyalty to the village."

"The Hyuga girl?" asked Shikaku Nara.

"I'm not free to discuss the examination I did of either of them," said Inoichi. "Professional ethics. I've shared details with Ibiki Morino as part of the report."

"Why don't we settle this with a vote?" asked Hiruzen, ignoring the way Danzo had just started choking for no apparent reason. No, the Third Hokage merely looked innocent and neutral as he called for the vote to determine Naruto's rank.

* * *

OMAKE:

**Kotetsu's Rules Of Shinobi Conduct**

1) Only give 90% of your effort on a given task. You may need that 10% for getting away.

2) It is better to date a civilian girl than a kunoichi. They're easier to impress, generally cheaper, and quite frequently a lot more sane. Civilian girls are much less likely to appear out of nowhere and then start throwing B-Rank attack jutsu your way because you missed their birthday.

3) Becoming a jonin is overrated. You make a more appealing target for enemy-nin who want a reputation, you're more likely to end up in a bingo book, the pay isn't that much better, and you're much more likely to end up with missions that involve outrageous amounts of death and destruction.

4) When confronted by strange glows and the smell of rotting meat coming from a hole in the ground, the mission has gone south and it is time to run like hell.


	6. Chapter 6:Chunin out the house

Mischief Fragment, Rewind  
by Greylle  
DISCLAIMER: characters from Naruto, setting by Kishimoto, weirdness from me.

Note that this also was first published on the Anime Addventure under another pseudonym, Kestral. i started several of these Mischief threads, trying to find one that would prove to be sufficiently popular that i could drop the rest and just concentrate on one.

Well, like much of my life, there is what is planned - and then there is what actually happens.

Which actually was the inspiration for doing this 'peggy sue' timetravel fic, funny how that works out, ne?

Chapter 6: Chunin Out The House

* * *

"So I get C-Rank Missions now?" asked Naruto, having gotten his chunin vest alongside Kotetsu and Izumo. This was SO screwed up, but at least as a chunin he'd be able to help his friends from behind the scenes. Maybe giving them backup when they really needed it? Yeah, that could work. He could be the cavalry when one of them needed it.

"Naruto," said the Third Hokage, breaking Naruto's inner dialogue. "You have been assigned this mission."

"A C-Rank?" asked Naruto, taking it. "Well, at least there's no more fence-painting or babysitting or... what the heck?"

The Hokage smirked ever so slightly.

"What kind of job did Kotetsu or Izumo get?" asked Naruto, the ten year old chunin fidgeting.

"Kotetsu and Izumo work well together, so they're assigned as a two-man squad to work at the gate," said the Hokage. "It's a normal duty for chunin of their skill level."

"I'm to impersonate an idol singer while they get a day of rest?" asked Naruto. "How do I look like an idol singer?"

"I think you called it 'Sexy Jutsu' didn't you?" asked the Hokage, absolutely not smirking.

"I'm TEN!" said Naruto. "There are some missions that simply should not be given to a ten year old!"

"It's some of her apparent time off," said the Hokage. "She isn't performing for that day, you just have to make a few appearances, wave from carriages, that sort of thing."

"Why do I have a feeling this is not going to go well," said Naruto as he looked over the details.

* * *

"Okay," said the Hokage. "We have requests that you not come within fifty miles of Miss Uehara."

"TOTALLY not my fault," declared Naruto.

"On the other hand," said the Hokage, holding up the vial. "This is quite concerning indeed."

"Yeah, that stuff is BAD," agreed Naruto.

The Hokage frowned and made a subtle motion. An ANBU took the vial.

"Take it to Ibiki, have someone from medical check into it," said the Hokage to the ANBU.

"Tell 'em to be REAL careful," said Naruto.

"There are a number of poisons that suppress chakra or disrupt its usage," said the Hokage. "When you encountered this though - it caused uncontrolled chakra usage?"

"Yeah, it was like..." Naruto thought for a few moments. "It was like having a faucet knob snapped off. I couldn't shut off the technique."

"Well, at least it was a simple henge," said the Hokage. "If it would do the same with something more draining of chakra - that would be a hazard."

"Yeah, I can see why that would be the case," admitted Naruto. "If it was Shadow Clone or something..."

"I wouldn't have expected you to make a more convincing Azumi Uehara than the original one," said the Hokage.

"It's not my fault, believe it!" said Naruto, shaking his head. "What is it with those fanboys?"

"Well, I've got a better mission for you tomorrow," said the Hokage. "Better take care of business today."

"Today?" asked Naruto, looking out at the morning. "But that mission took all yesterday!"

"Naruto," said the Hokage. "You still want to be Hokage someday, is this not so?"

"Well, yeah," said Naruto.

"In order to be a good ninja, a good Hokage, there is a lesson you really should take to heart," said the Hokage.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. He didn't remember the old man giving off THIS serious a vibe discussing things like this before. "What is it?"

"Even though you're only ten," said the Hokage. "You should never ever keep a lady waiting."

"Eh?" asked Naruto. "Who?"

"Tsuzumi?" asked the Hokage. "How many times has Hinata Hyuga asked about whether Naruto has returned?"

"Yesterday or this morning?" asked the Chunin, Tsuzumi Sarugaku from his position near the door.

The Hokage raised an eyebrow at Naruto.

"Oh," said Naruto. "Later, Grandpa!"

* * *

Hinata swept her hands around as Hanabi stabbed out repeatedly, her jyuuken strikes coming closer and closer to connecting.

"Go get her Hinata!"

Hinata blinked, staggering back, and getting the chakra points in her right arm taken out as she was distracted. "Wha? Na-Naruto?"

"You're finished!" called out Hanabi as she pressed the attack.

Hinata grabbed her little sister, dislocated her arms, and got her in a headlock. "Oh. Naruto. Hi. Did you get back?"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHH! OUCH! HEY!" protested Hanabi.

"Well, I can see you're busy," said Naruto.

_Twist bend pretzel_

"No no no, I'm finishing up here," said Hinata, blushing.

"AIEEEEEEE! NO, THIS ISN'T JYUUKEN ANYMORE!"

"Oh, well, uhm," said Naruto, thinking that this Jyuuken practice looked awfully darn painful. "Well, I'll tell you about the exams sometime when you're not busy. Later."

Hinata sighed happily as Naruto bounded away.

"M-m-medic," said Hanabi.

Hinata blinked. "Oh my goodness. Hanabi! What happened to you?"

Hanabi twisted around as best she could to stare at her sister. "You're kidding right."

"This is terrible," said the horrified Hinata. "I need to get a medic. Oh dear."

Hanabi lay on the nice cool grass for a few minutes, going over the recent events and analyzed the situation in a manner worthy of the main branch of the Hyuga family. "When Hinata is around Naruto, get to shelter. Got it."

* * *

Toltiir had manipulated a few things, and when setting up a monster to be imprisoned in the past, had opted for something that could test Naruto's strength and provide problems for later on.

He'd gone over various designs, keeping in mind that he could "mod the hell out of it" when taking a particular menace to be of use.

Alien Xenomorphs were considered but rejected. While they could certainly challenge Naruto and the ninja nations, the amount of fun and humor involved with such things was minimal to nonexistent. Toltiir WAS doing this "for the lulz" after all.

Likewise, Chimera Ants were straight out.

Xellos might have worked, except that the whole "seeking the destruction of all existence" would have been counter to the whole "having fun" thing. Likewise "Q" and "Trelane the Squire Of Gothos" were a bit much to face Naruto.

As the Sixpath Sage complex had been set up primarily as a Summons Research center, something to exploit that was best.

It was in an entirely different universe that Toltiir ran into something that would fit the goals.

Evil, vicious, nasty, cthulhoid, powerful. Yet also constrained by its very nature and not so powerful or evil that it couldn't be fought against.

When it took a human-like form eventually, it strongly resembled Orochimaru. A happy coincidence.

* * *

"Did you hear? Naruto made chunin!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. That dobe had somehow cheated, obviously. He'd been a failure for years, so suddenly discovering competence and becoming a rising star of the ninja world was just flat out preposterous.

"Wow," said Sakura. "He's still not as cool as Sasuke, but I have to admit that's something. He's our age but chunin already?"

"More than that, I heard from my older brother who heard it from his girlfriend who heard it from her father that he's on the fast track to JONIN."

Sasuke twitched. Just a little. It sounded like Naruto was following in That Man's footsteps.

"Yeah, right. Naruto? Blonde kid who thought fart-jokes were funny?"

"Apparently while he was testing for chunin down in Suna, he did something and now the daimyo of the two countries are meeting regarding Favored Trade Status."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that we get less import taxes to deal with when it comes to metal goods, they get less when it comes to wood and cloth products, stuff like that."

"Dang, hard to believe he's gone from fart-jokes to diplomacy."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Quiet down," said Iruka-sensei as he entered the classroom.

"Iruka-sensei?" asked Sakura. "Is it true? Naruto Uzumaki made chunin?"

"That's what I've heard myself," admitted Iruka Umino.

"Troublesome," said Shikamaru Nara to absolutely no one's surprise.

* * *

Naruto sighed. Another C-Rank Mission. Well, this one shouldn't be too bad. He was just going to the capital to deliver the Hokage's monthly report.

Couldn't turn out too badly, could it?

Ominous thunder rumbled, having waited for its cue.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki had been in the future. The far future. At the end of his days, and he could admit it had NOT been a particularly happy end, faced with a large stack of regrets and a smaller stack of accomplishments, he'd been ready to make the final trip.

Except that there had been a Being there. Something powerful enough to send him back in time, breaking all the laws of physics or causality involved, and bring him back all the way to when he'd been a child.

A being powerful enough to do it for laughs.

Oddly enough, knowing that had eased some of Naruto's tensions. The being was pulling a prank. He could understand that, even if the scope was a bit much.

Still, courier duty to the capital! He'd never been to the capital of the Land Of Fire, and he was planning on making the most of it. His little froggy wallet wasn't exactly flat, though he hadn't kept a lot of treasure himself. What he mostly HAD kept were hidden away scrolls for later use.

The clothing he had to choose was different. Chunin generally wore the same sort of clothing, including the vest. As the courier, he probably ought to stick to that sort of clothing. They all accessorized though, so maybe a mask like Kakashi wore? Nah. Weapon maybe? Weapons were the perfect accessory, they went with everything. He thought that was one of Kotetsu's Laws that the chunin kept coming up with.

Naruto went up to one of the blank walls of his apartment and tapped a stain that looked vaguely like a cat in a jester's hat.

The blank wall was abruptly filled with little boxes marked [Stats] [Skills] [Jutsu] [Innate] [Equipment] [Quests] and [Achievements].

Naruto sighed. The first time he'd seen these he'd freaked out and not tried to do anything with them. Well, he was TEN now. For the second time. So he might as well, right? He had a feeling there were things he was better off not knowing. So, maybe...

[ **Name:** Naruto Uzumaki  
**Age:** 10  
**Level:** 47  
**Rank:** Chunin  
**Intelligence:** 3, **Strength:** 3, **Speed:** 3.5, **Hand Seals:** 2  
**Will:** 4, **Charisma:** 2.5.

**Seishin-teki kyoyo** (spiritual refinement) D  
**Taijutsu** (unarmed combat) C  
**Ninjutsu** B+  
**Genjutsu** D  
**Kenjutsu** (swordfighting) C  
**Bojutsu** (staff fighting) C  
**Shurikenjutsu** (shuriken & kunai throwing) B  
**Sojutsu** (spear fighting) C  
**Naginatajutsu** (naginata wielding) C  
**Kusarigamajutsu** (kusarigama fighting) D-  
**Kayakujutsu** (explosives use) C  
**Hensojutsu** (disguises) C-  
**Shinobi-iri** (stealth) B  
**Boryaku** (military strategy and tactics) C+  
**Choho** (espionage) B  
**Intonjutsu** (escape techniques) A  
**Tenmon** (meteorology) D-  
**Chi-mon** (geography with some mining skills) D ]

Naruto considered that and then clicked the blinking [?]

Unfortunately he wasn't sure what to make of the result.

[**Analogue** - A reflection of another person - most commonly encountered during dimensional travel, dream sequences, or during timestream disruptions. Individual A in Dimension A will most often strongly resemble Individual A in Dimension B, with the alterations that growing up in the different environment and circumstances will cause. Sometimes this is a minor change, for example if Individual A was injured in the hand in Dimension A while his Dimension B counterpart was injured in the leg. Other variations include the villainous counterpart of a heroic individual, a male in one dimension and female in another, a magical girl in one universe and a kunoichi in the other, or similar relatively minor tweaks.  
Source- _A Planeswalker's Guide, Sigil Publishing._]

Naruto didn't completely understand all that, but for some reason he found it concerning.

* * *

Naruto went through the trees as if he didn't have a care in the world. As if he weren't a ninja at all in fact.

Of course, the Naruto going down the path was a shadow clone. The real one was a bit behind and travelling much more silently and concealed in the trees.

A third Naruto had stopped on seeing an encampment just ahead and had dispelled himself to notify the others.

When the real Naruto reached it, several rough-looking men had already gathered around the clone and were threatening it.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki, ten year old prodigy, was enjoying himself. Mostly.

This second time around was frustrating in that things were NOT going as he'd planned. Case in point that he was now considered a genius prodigy who'd shot ahead of his peers and was now a chunin who was doing a SOLO mission to deliver reports to the Land Of Fire's capital city.

Seeing Haku changing shirts was a further indication of how things had altered. Haku had been a boy. Naruto was fairly sure of it. Haku had even SAID he was a boy.

Except the Haku changing shirts in a stream near the cages under the watchful eyes of two guards was sporting some definite female chest development. Her current age was thirteen, so still more undeveloped than developed. More slender than anything else.

Zabuza was harder to locate, and only because Naruto knew that the swordsman had to be nearby if Haku was here. And if Haku and Zabuza were here, so would be the Twin Demon Brothers.

Except that Gouzo and Meizu were among the guards, Zabuza was hiding in the same stream that Haku was wading out of, and Naruto wasn't sure what was going on.

Deciding to play a hunch, he waded into the stream a little upstream.

He was rewarded, if you can call it that, with Zabuza looming up behind him.

"Zabuza of the Mist, I don't have any quarrel with you, nor does my village at this point," said Naruto.

"You detected my presence, no ordinary brat," said Zabuza.

"Write this in your ninja-notefile," said Naruto, turning his head to address Zabuza directly. "Naruto Uzumaki, chunin of the Leaf, not-the-brat, future Hokage. Only reason I'm bothering to contact you is I'm trying to figure out if you're infiltrating these guys or working with 'em."

"Oh?" asked Zabuza, sounding a little less threatening and a little more amused. "And if we're working with them?"

"Not likely, but I'd think we'd then be at cross purposes," said Naruto. "I counted five wagons, cages if you look under the tarps. Four girls in each. Mercenaries, two better equipped than the other nine - probably elite. Not counting your Demon Brothers."

"Hmph," said Zabuza, noting that his two compatriots had been detected but Haku had apparently been missed. "Your point?"

"Young girls chained in wagons, not familiar with the weird restraint on some of 'em, but obviously trying not to be too obvious about their cargo considering the tarps and the other two wagons having what looks like normal tradestuff," summed up Naruto. "See, that all looks like some villain stuff going down. That just gets me all incensed and wanting to bust some heads."

Zabuza chuckled. "And what does a single chunin of the weak little Leaf village think he can do about it?"

"If it weren't for you being present," said Naruto. "Bust heads, kick ass, take names, loot bodies, then turn everything over to the daimyo's men when I get to the capital."

"And if I were on their side?" asked Zabuza.

"Dispel this Shadow Clone," said Naruto, thumb jerking at himself, "then finish high-tailing it to where I can get some jonin reinforcements."

Zabuza chuckled again. "So why even talk to me?"

"Because if you're infiltrating and getting ready to bust heads, I don't want to spoil your party," said Naruto, grinning a little wolfishly. "I'd rather attend myself, preferably with an invite."

"We can't attack yet, small fry," said Zabuza. "If you spoil our attempt to find out where they're getting those manacles, I'll have to kill you."

"Oh, well, about that - they're gonna know something's up because they've dismissed one of my Shadow Clones," said Naruto. "So - Plan B."

"I hate Plan B," said Zabuza. "Plan B is always so much less fun than Plan A. Though maybe you're right, if a snot-nosed kid like you can stumble across us, how long before Nin-Hunters show up?"

* * *

Toltiir watched as the raid took place. About the only thing that Naruto wasn't ready for was when a net was thrown at him that absorbed chakra.

Nor was he ready for meeting these particular young ladies, as they were dimensional analogues.

* * *

The common example of an Analogue to someone who grew up in the late 20th Century of a place called the United States of America was to refer to "Spock with a beard." The reference was to an episode of an audiovisual series using EM broadcasting that occurred in their 1960s called 'Star Trek' and dealt with an evil version of the cast and crew of the regular TV series. There were plenty of other examples of the same thing, occurring even in series where finding new actors could be handled within the constraints of a weekly budget.

Those who crossed dimensional boundaries and ended up in other universes frequently encountered Analogues. They'd find Analogues like an Abraham Lincoln who spent his early career hunting vampires in the woods of Illinois. They'd encounter something like an Adolf Hitler who never went into politics and settled for a life as an artist. They'd even run into examples like a Napoleon Bonaparte whose dirigibles allowed him to hold territory that he otherwise could not have.

Toltiir was well familiar with Analogues. He was also quite capable of making Analogues where none existed, copying things from one source to add into another.

Such was the case with **Asuka Cranekick** and **Kyoko Needleworker** - two girls who were currently out of a job since their former employer, a Lady Raspberyl of the Land Of Fire, had suffered severe financial reversals. Then they were captured and about to be sold into slavery.

"Pssst," whispered a little boy through the grill at the bottom of their cage. "Stay quiet. I'll get you out."

"He's got to be all of ten," said Asuka as the little boy turned his attention to the boards the floor grill was nailed to.

"I noticed," said Kyoko. "Things are looking a little better."

"Little boy," whispered Asuka. "Can you do anything about these?"

Naruto looked at the manacles. "What are they anyway?"

"Chakra suppressors," answered Kyoko Needleworker. "If you free us, we'll swear to follow you as your personal retainers."

"He's only ten or so," protested Asuka.

"Actually, that's great, I'm gonna be Hokage someday, and you can join my personal guard," half-joked Naruto.

Asuka looked at Kyoko who looked back. Both shrugged. It beat being sold to the sex-trade or dying amidst a suicidal bid for freedom.

"I'm a samurai, naginata specialist," said Asuka finally. "Kyoko is a ninja."

"Hi," said Naruto, peeling up the floor grate and putting the wirecutters back in a pouch. As he slipped into their enclosure, he reached into another pouch to pull out lockpicks. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Chunin of the Leaf Village."

"Chunin at your age?" asked Asuka, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," said Naruto as he went to work on Kyoko's manacles first.

"Those are specially made," said Kyoko, holding still so that the boy could see how hopeless it was for himself. "You'll never be able to pick that with such simple tools."

_CLICK!_

"On the other hand," said Kyoko as Naruto took the manacles off of her. "I have been wrong a time or two in the past. On rare occasion."

"Uh huh," said Naruto as he worked on Asuka's manacles. "Gonna have to save one of those, see how they work. Sounds like a Seal Technique."

_CLICK!_

"You're good at this," commented Asuka.

Naruto merely fox-grinned and then went to the back of the wagon. He'd gotten an A-ranking in escape techniques, after all. And picking locks was just part of that. And of course, with shadow clones, he was freeing all of the prisoners while the Demon Brothers and Zabuza struck at the guards.

Now, why couldn't he get missions like this more often? It beat working on the septic system at the Nara farm - believe it!

* * *

Haku looked up as part of the darkness solidified near her position.

"Did you find out?" asked Zabuza.

"Yes, she is apparently a distant relative with the same bloodline but different abilities with it," said Haku as someone in the camp screamed and abruptly stopped.

"Hmph, solves problems with the kid," said Zabuza. "He can take care of the prisoners, while we loot the money and valuables. Your cousin, or whatever, will be safe in a place like Konoha."

"Thank you, Zabuza-sama," said Haku.

"Hmph," said Zabuza dismissively. "That's one distraction from work you didn't need. Now I'll expect better from you."

* * *

_nine days later:_  
The Hokage stared. Various ANBU stared. Two clan heads (Nara and Yamanaka) stared. Maito Gai, also present, also stared.

"Naruto Uzumaki, chunin of the Leaf, reporting a successful mission!" said Naruto, saluting.

"Your mission," said the Hokage finally. "It was to deliver reports to the office of the daimyo, wasn't it?"

"That's right," said Naruto, grinning foxily.

"So... I take it something else occurred?" asked the Hokage. "I'll caution you. I've already heard part of this."

"How'd word get ahead of us?" asked Naruto, curious.

"Messenger hawk," said the Hokage.

"Oh," said Naruto, shrugging. "Never worked with those. Okay. On the way to accomplish my mission, I encountered an operation that we learned was being bankrolled by the missing-nin Orochimaru. Orochimaru is apparently collecting those with kekkei genkai to use in what would be no doubt painful and eventually fatal experimentation. Seeing a way to strengthen our own village while denying those abilities to an enemy, I took the liberty of inviting them to meet with you and discuss the possibility of being offered some form of employment and sanctuary within the Hidden Leaf."

"I... see," said the Hokage. "Kekkei genkai?"

"Yeah," said Naruto, flashing the Hokage a grin and thumb's up he'd seen Maito Gai use repeatedly.

Maito Gai returned the gesture. "Ah, the flames of youth burn brightly within you, Naruto!"

"Well, I'm still ten, I'd hope so," said Naruto. "Gramps, I'll let them introduce themselves to ya."

"Asuka Cranekick," said the first girl, bowing to the Hokage. "I am samurai. My skills are with origami and naginata."

"Kyoko Needleworker," said the second girl, bowing. "My specialty is stealth and taijutsu. I and my associate Asuka have sworn to follow Lord Naruto in his quest to become Hokage. I am also quite skilled with senbon, embroidery, and knitting."

"I see," said the Hokage, thinking if Jiraiya saw this line-up, he'd be drooling on the floor.

"Moka Akashiya," said the girl with the long pink hair. "I'm not a ninja, though I have a kekkei genkai of chakra draining."

"Though she becomes considerably more fierce when she has drained some of Lord Naruto's chakra," said Asuka softly.

"His chakra is just so yummy," said Moka.

"Greetings, Lord Hokage," said a young girl who already had some chest development. "I am Kurumu Kurono. My kekkei genkai is genjutsu related and allows me to partially physically transform."

A very young girl was next. "Yukari Sendo. My kekkei genkai is related to moving objects directly with chakra."

"Mizore Shirayuki," said the next in line around a lollipop. "My kekkei genkai combines water and wind to make ice."

"I see," said the Hokage, not saying anything that might be considered encouraging. Also not saying anything that might appear discouraging. He was really doing well with managing a 'poker face' in fact.

"Ruby Toujou," said the dark-haired girl at the end. "My kekkei genkai is descended from the Senju."

The Third Hokage blinked, considered this, and finally nodded. "Naruto. I'll have a chunin get the appropriate forms. You realize that their acceptance into the village requires more than just my own preferences."

"Yes, Lord Hokage," answered Asuka Cranekick. "That was brought up. Since there was no guarantee of acceptance, several of the other rescuees decided to take their chances elsewhere. Two ended up employed with the daimyo's own forces. And of course the Princess was left in the Capital in order to meet up with her own forces."

"Yes, I heard that," said the Hokage, turning his attention to Naruto. "Wasn't one of your lifelong ambitions to rescue a princess?"

"Yup!" said Naruto, giving a thumb's up. "That's one down! Now I just have to get a bridge named after me."

"You have some strange goals in life, my lord Naruto," said Kyoko with a sidelong glance towards her rescuer.

"Eh, maybe so, but typical is hardly as much fun," said Naruto with a grin.

* * *

Homura Mitokado finished flipping through the forms, then passed them along.

Ibiki Morino sat at his own place, facing the various councillors and clan heads. As far as anyone could tell he was calm and confident as if he were facing first year genin, or perhaps an Akimichi facing a buffet table.

"Some of them are nearly as attractive as I used to be," said Koharu Utatane as she looked through the papers - handing each off to the next in line as she finished one.

"How sure can we be of their loyalty?" asked the Nara clan head as he took the first sheet from Koharu and glanced at it before handing it on to the next clan head.

Inoichi Yamanaka spoke instead of Ibiki. "I was called in because there was only so much time Ibiki could spend on them in a session, and several of them allowed for my probing as part of the process."

"'Allowed'?" asked Koharu. "They were given a choice?"

"None of them are ninja yet, and therefore they come under rules for civilians," said Inoichi. "I did a little deeper than is normal for civilians who are not accused of any crime, basically acting as lie detector for Ibiki to ask pointed questions."

"Even if they could fool a normal lie detector," added Ibiki. "Someone like Inoichi would be impossible to fool, particularly when these girls are of as limited experience and training as these turned out to be."

"Raw recruits then?" asked Homura.

"Mostly," said Ibiki. "Two exceptions. "Cranekick and Needleworker are more experienced. As they have some training, we were able to go a bit further with them. Both are genin level though, but with promise."

Inoichi continued on then. "They have no loyalty to this village, but they also have no loyalty to another village or individual outside this village. They are sincere in their desire to apply for citizenship. Other than that, they put no lies into the paperwork."

"Not loyal to someone outside the village?" asked Shikaku Nara. "So they're loyal to someone IN the village?"

"Right now they are VERY loyal to Naruto Uzumaki," said Inoichi, shaking his head.

"Unacceptable," said Koharu.

"I got a lot from my studies of Cranekick and Needleworker," said Inoichi. "For what it's worth, I'm voting for all of them to be accepted. The only one I'm iffy about at all is Akashiya."

"Oh? Why that one?" asked Koharu, frowning.

"Dual personality," answered Inoichi. "Part of her bloodline abilities is that she drains chakra and actually small amounts of blood - which apparently she requires on a regular basis. When she fed on Naruto on their stay in the capital - things apparently got a little messy."

"That explains why Moka Akashiya has been banned from the capital," said Homura with a flat dry tone.

"That... boy," said Koharu distastefully. "He should be put into a cell where we can keep tabs on him. Every time he goes off and does something - things get out of hand."

"I don't know," said Shikaku. "A courier mission and we get potential access to new kekkei genkai. A chunin exam in Suna, and we get treasure and ancient records we're still decoding. I'm kind of curious what would happen if he was sent on a B-class mission."

* * *

**_Kotetsu's Rules Of Shinobi Conduct, part 2_**  
5) Paperwork will expand to fill any available time and desktop space.

6) Eldritch Horrors can ruin your whole day. Avoid.

7) The relevance and accuracy of any information is inversely proportional to how easy it is to acquire that information.

8) If there is one building in the target area guarded 24/7, rigged with alarms and traps, and has inhuman screams occasionally rising from within - that is almost certainly your target. Except in the Village Of Helsford, that's their hottest restaurant. Don't order the crab legs.


	7. Chapter 7:B Rank Mission

Mischief Fragment, Rewind  
by Greylle  
DISCLAIMER: characters from Naruto, setting by Kishimoto, weirdness from me.

Note that this also was first published on the Anime Addventure under another pseudonym, Kestral. i started several of these Mischief threads, trying to find one that would prove to be sufficiently popular that i could drop the rest and just concentrate on one.

Well, like much of my life, there is what is planned - and then there is what actually happens.

Which actually was the inspiration for doing this 'peggy sue' timetravel fic, funny how that works out, ne?

Chapter 7: B-Rank Mission

* * *

"All right, a B-Rank!" said Naruto later when it was just him, the Hokage, and some chunin assistant.

"Oh yes," said the Hokage. "This is an important and serious mission, so I expect your best behavior."

"It's not a diplomatic mission, is it?" asked Naruto. "I really don't think that falls into my strengths, ya know."

"No, not at all, B-Rank missions usually involve combat or anticipate combat with other ninja," said the Hokage. "Are you up for such a level of danger?"

Naruto grinned and rocked back and forth on his feet. "Hey, a future Hokage don't run away from little challenges!"

"If the 'future Hokage' finds himself in way over his head, yes actually, he would - so he could report and possibly return with reinforcements," said Hiruzen Sarutobi, though his voice sounded more amused than anything else.

"So what's the mission?" asked Naruto, now curious.

The chunin moved forward and spread a map of the Land Of Fire (Hi No Kuni) out on the table. "The Land Of Fire has numerous streams and lakes with heavily forested areas along the raised land in this section of the country."

Naruto looked over the colorful map to try and figure out what this was going to deal with. "What's the black fanged skull symbol mean?"

"Avoid," said the chunin simply.

"Gee, how informative," quipped Naruto.

"The area you need to go into is here," said the chunin, tapping a brown area three hand-widths from the skull symbol. "This area is relatively devoid of forest, is significantly raised from the ground level nearby, and is known for producing feelings of disquiet among animals and more sensitive humans."

"Some of the scrolls you brought back indicate this might have been another research base dating from the time of the Sage," said the Hokage.

"The daimyo sent an expedition there," said the chunin. "A number of guards and researchers. They arrived in the area and their last message indicated they had begun work."

"Something about 'last message' doesn't sound too good," noted Naruto.

"No, you're right, it doesn't," agreed the Hokage.

"The mission is a scouting mission," said the chunin. "Get in, scout it out, figure out what happened to the missing researchers, get word back to us. You'll be given a scroll which can summon a messenger bird as soon as you've discovered something."

* * *

"Now, we've got some new students here," began Iruka.

Kiba howled.

"Uhm," said Ino. "Can you not do that? Especially when I'm sitting next to you?"

"So move," said Kiba. "Helloooo!"

The new girls looked very uncertain about all this for some reason.

"Oh come on, it can't be as bad as what happened in the capital," said Kurumu.

"I still can't remember..." mumbled Moka.

"I just hope none of the rest of us take the heat for it," offered Ruby.

"What happened in the capital?" asked Iruka.

"Better you not know," said Kurumu.

"I don't want to talk about it," said Ruby, coloring slightly.

"I may have been traumatized for life," said Yukari.

"Hmmm," said Mizore, the popsicle stick in her mouth moving from the right side of her mouth to the left.

"The Hokage has agreed with the Fire Daimyo and the whole thing is now considered to be an A-Class Secret pending full investigation," explained Kurumu cheerfully.

"...but I drank his blood and chakra on the way home and nothing happened THEN," complained Moka.

"Well, we were all ready for you, and we WERE out of the city by that point," said Ruby. "Though how are they going to keep it secret when their military and police got involved?"

"I think maybe I don't want to know," said Iruka.

"Probably the wisest course," agreed Kurumu.

"Right," said Iruka. "Today we're going to start talking about the treaty we just signed with the Land Of Wind. Just find an empty seat for now."

"Aw, c'mon," said Kiba a minute later. "Why doesn't anyone want to sit next to me?"

"I wonder," said Ino.

* * *

"You've been unusually cooperative with the Hokage about the boy running around outside of our control," said Koharu as the three met in the private meeting place.

Danzo settled into his chair slowly. "The Kyuubi brat? Subtly fanning the hatred around him so that we could eventually take him from the Sandaime and make him a suitable weapon hasn't been effective lately."

Homura gave a short laugh that was almost a bark. "Oh? 'Hasn't been effective lately'? That's one way to put it."

"He's got a point," put in Koharu Utatane. "His popularity with the ninja has grown enormously and that's gone within the civilian population as well."

"All of which could very well be temporary, especially if a few rumors are put to good use when his current favoritism fades a bit," pointed out Danzo. "No, I haven't suddenly any fondness for Sarutobi and his policies either. The boy's results though - those have currently gained him more favor."

"Hmph," said Koharu thinking old men could still be flummoxed by a pretty face. She suspected that even these two were going to be more inclined towards playing nice with a bevy of young attractive ladies being inducted into their village.

"Not only the wealth, but the information in those old records," said Danzo. "Information as to what the area was like before the Land Of Fire existed. Ancient mines and factories and hidden resources - those alone would be enough to intrigue me. Then there's these girls he's found."

Koharu hmphed again.

"Ruby Toujou is descended from the Senju clan," said Danzo. "Even if she only manifests minor techniques, they are Wood Release. During her examination at the Interrogation Department, old records were examined and a name from both that examination and those old records were matched. She is of the Senju descent. Those other girls also have powerful bloodlines that could further empower this village for generations to come. Do you see why I have less problem with Naruto Uzumaki than previously?"

"What of these two genin 'followers'?" asked Koharu.

"One's a samurai and therefore of no consequence," said Danzo. "The other is a self-taught ninja without any clan to assist her or teach her techniques. How much trouble could they be?"

* * *

There had been no Lady Raspberyl of the Land Of Fire prior to Toltiir mucking about with the timeline. Lady Raspberyl, who looked to be a child of six summers at present, was of a bloodline which would actually turn out to be related to the Uzumaki family if one went back enough generations. Her family line aged slowly, so while she was biologically six - she was actually eighteen years old chronologically and extremely frustrated by that slow development.

The Lady Raspberyl was an orphan, had been such for over a decade, and was mainly concerned with her estate and the village she was responsible for. Which was a small valley which mainly produced... raspberries. Raspberry jam, raspberry preserves, raspberry syrup, raspberry pies, raspberry wine, and so on and so forth. Really, if you could make use of raspberries or the plants that produced them in some way - they either had it or were researching it.

A blight on the raspberry production had had her downsize her expenses. Though she'd been really against turning loose two clan retainers of impeccable loyalty, those two had understood the situation and actually tendered their resignation in order to spare their lady that grief.

It was understood by both retainers and their lady that at some point she might have need of them again, but hiring Konohagakure ninjas for such needs was actually cheaper than keeping them on-staff.

When the situation was explained to Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, he'd nodded at the difficult situation that the Lady had found herself in - and had approved their new loyalty to Naruto Uzumaki's clan (even though Naruto didn't HAVE a clan) and had the appropriate paperpushers come up with a contract that allowed him to hire them for a modest civilian-level wage as general assistants.

* * *

To: My Lady Raspberyl  
Ibara Village, Land Of Fire

My Lady,  
Kyoko and myself have entered the service of Naruto Uzumaki, a chunin of Konohagakure, after a misadventure in which we were captured by minions of the S-Class Missing Nin Orochimaru. As a result of that rescue and swearing service to Uzumaki, the last of his line from the Uzumaki clan of Whirlpool, we have entered contracted service to Hiruzen Sarutobi - the Third Hokage of that village. While he cannot employ us as ninja, per se, he has had our abilities tested and now employs us under a civilian contract.

My associate Kyoko is frequently employed as a messenger due to her high speed and manueverability. I myself can assist the Hokage due to my familiarity with protocol, procedures, and how to deal with copious amounts of paperwork.

So our duties are similar to those as we performed under your own leadership. Uzumaki-sama is currently on a mission outside of the Village, the details of which are highly classified.

In addition, we are receiving some advanced training in our other specialties as part of our recompense. Kyoko is fortunate in that this being a ninja village, she has access to some of the more commonly held techniques that she had not acquired prior to this opportunity.

My own training, with naginata and sword, is going quite well. Despite being a ninja village, there are those who are familiar enough with samurai skills and training as to be able to assist in honing my existing abilities.

I hope that the blight which struck the fields has been dealt with, and that My Lady's finances recover swiftly from their downturn. Though we have had to regretfully leave your employ, you remain within our hearts as highly as ever.

Respectfully,  
Asuka Cranekick

* * *

Naruto paused. He remembered Sai and a few others who could use techniques to fly. There were times when he really wished he had something similar. Maybe he ought to work on that. Could be handy.

Maybe if he got a really large piece of paper? No, too easy to get it wet in conditions like this and then it'd tear. Wait a minute, what if he sewed the necessary fuuinjutsu seals into a large piece of fabric like a rug or carpet or something? Hmmm. Have to check that.

Now that he was a chunin, working alone or paired with another chunin was more common than not. He understood that, he also understood that these missions were tests of his ability. Since his plans to stay in the Academy and graduate with everyone else had pretty much crumpled, he was now just trying to ride through the changes. Maybe he could do something that would get him demoted but not actually kicked out as a ninja?

There was a problem with this thickly forested part of the Land Of Fire. Mainly that it WAS thickly forested. Line of sight wasn't that far, there were enough insects and birds and other living things running around that hearing was of limited use. Scent? Yeah, he was better than a lot of people other than one of Kiba's clanmates. Still, not as good as it could be and there were areas where a strong smell tended to overwhelm everything else in the area.

Still, going full out until he was well away from the village and then slowing down to about half speed, he had made pretty good time going from tree-to-tree.

Naruto glanced back. Someone was pursuing him?

* * *

"So you're Hinata Hyuga?" asked one of the girls forming an arc nearby.

"Hey, you, leave her alone!" protested Ino, coming up to the new girls and assuming the worst.

Mizore gave Ino a cool look, before returning her gaze to Hinata.

"It's not like that," protested Moka. "Naruto was SO cool when he rescued us!"

"Oh?" asked Hinata, suddenly curious herself.

"I figured you could tell us more about him," said Moka.

"W-why me?" asked Hinata, not used to feeling the center of attention.

"He mentioned you," said Mizore softly. "Several times."

"Yeah, especially after that-" began Kurumu.

"The Hokage said it's a secret, remember?" asked Ruby after putting her hand over Kurumu's mouth to quiet her.

Now Hinata was REALLY curious.

"Maybe it's because she's got a big set developing that he likes her?" asked Yukari.

"Well, if THAT's the case," said Kurumu with a pose that arched her back and revealed that she was pretty well developed for an eleven year old.

"No, no, it's her dark hair," corrected Yukari.

"N-N-Naruto likes me?" asked Hinata.

"Why does she even doubt that at this point?" asked Sakura of Ino.

"I think she can't help it," said Ino by reply, waving her hand in front of Hinata's face and getting no response. "You'd think she'd be over this by now."

* * *

Naruto had doubled back to see what that feeling of being followed was all about. He'd even used one of the secret techniques he'd gotten from a scroll that caused him to fade to transparency and muted his presence. Ninja Art: Mask's Shadow was the simple name of the technique, and Naruto wondered why it had ever been lost.

Standing on a treebranch as thick as a sidewalk, he looked from slightly behind and down at his pursuer and was moderately surprised at the identity.

There was, of course, absolutely no reason that Naruto could think of for Kakashi Hatake to be following him. Kakashi was still in ANBU - as evidenced by the mask he was wearing.

Of course, as it WAS Kakashi - he'd apparently figured out that something had changed.

Not wanting to get a kunai through him, Naruto decided to go ahead and announce his presence. "The legendary Kakashi Hatake. Someone feels I need backup on this mission?"

"You created a kage bunshin and then snuck up on me?" asked Kakashi, his voice carrying a thread of surprise and... approval?

"We're ninja, a certain amount of caution IS a good thing," said Naruto in reply.

"And I could have snuck up behind you with my own bunshin," pointed out Kakashi.

"Yeah, but then we'd be getting into the whole clone behind your clone behind my clone which is behind your clone and so on and so forth," said Naruto. "That gets old really fast."

"So it does," agreed Kakashi, having done exactly that a few times.

"Besides, last I heard we didn't have any quarrel," said Naruto.

"Oh come now, we're ninja as you point out," said Kakashi.

"You want me to 'look underneath the underneath'?" asked Naruto thoughtfully.

Kakashi inclined his head in reply, then went over to where he could lean against the trunk of a tree and open his book.

Naruto frowned as he considered things. Why would a captain of the ANBU, Kakashi's current position, be tailing him? "This didn't come from the Council or ROOT, did it?"

"ROOT was disbanded," answered Kakashi, not looking up from his book.

"Well, there are rumors," said Naruto, covering that potential slip. "I try to keep my ears open."

"Good habit that," was Kakashi's simple comment.

"You're looking for my 'safe house' or 'stash'? Which I don't have, of course."

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Of course not. Loyal ninja of Konoha would never maintain such things."

"True." Naruto nodded. Every ninja of above chunin rank, and many chunin at that, usually maintained a few spots where they could hide things away from everyone else. Especially in Konoha where there were dojutsu like the Byakugan. There was always the possibility of being injured and outside the village, or some faction trying to pull a coup, or just trying to lay low while your superior officers were in a snit. However, the official line of policy was not to do anything of the sort.

Yeah, it was all part of the 'underneath the underneath' and 'shadows under shadows' thing that was part of the ninja experience.

Kakashi flipped a page.

"Mind you, if I were to have accidently not turned everything over to the Hokage after that mission in Suna," stated Naruto carefully, "it would only be minor trivial things easily forgotten or overlooked that might be good graduation presents for a few friends I made in the Academy. Surely anything valuable would have been memorable enough to have been turned over already."

Kakashi glanced up, and from the crinkling of his visible eye, he was clearly smiling. "Of course. And we know for absolute certainty that there are no councillors to the Hokage who would want to judge such things for themselves, right?"

Naruto winced.

"Though admittedly, this is a bust," said Kakashi eventually. "You appear to be going straight to the mission site."

"Well, yeah, the mission is the first priority," admitted Naruto. "Not to mention it has that whole 'mysterious disappearances' thing going for it as far as coolness factor."

"Not that ninja worry about being cool," said Kakashi.

"Because ninja are automatically cool," countered Naruto.

"Well..." Kakashi considered that before deciding not to argue with it.

* * *

Many hours later, Naruto was finally at the appointed area.

The large trees had gradually thinned out, followed by the smaller trees, and finally he was left slogging through the mud and reaching for the bottle of bug repellant he'd picked up prior to leaving Konohagakure.

Which, by the way, proved entirely inadequate to the task. When he'd inspected it further, he'd noticed the label beginning to peel under the humidity and had tugged on it - revealing that it was actually suntan lotion with a bug repellant label slapped on. Which made planning revenge against the shopkeeper a new priority.

Naruto wondered briefly if this was why Shino's family covered up to the extent they did. Exposed skin seemed to draw bloodsucking or flesh-biting bugs like a magnet.

The pictures of clear streams were proven false as these were slow moving and muddy, and there were unseen things stirring those waters underneath.

After accidently inhaling his third bug, Naruto decided to imitate Kakashi a bit by making a mask to conceal his face. Then another strip of blanket to cover his hair.

By the time he was done, his spare blanket was less than a quarter of its original size.

Also by the time he was done, he had said impolite things about the weather, bugs, squishy clinging mud, leeches, and a nuumber of other subjects that annoyed the heck out of him.

Eventually he DID find the area where the ground abruptly rose several feet and became firmer and covered with ferns and other undergrowth. No trees though.

Once again Naruto's hands flew through the required seals and he focussed his chakra. Again he turned transparent to normal vision as the 'shadow mask' technique hid him from view.

* * *

He'd learned Mask's Shadow (or was it Mask Of Shadows? Shadow's Mask? - it was a very old scroll after all and the language had changed somewhat over the centuries) from a scroll he'd gotten from the Sage's Suna Complex. His body seemed to turn transparent and his presence to any sort of sensory technique seemed to fade to near-nothing. It was weird though, how it affected his vision.

Naruto was aware of shadows becoming transparent and light areas almost painfully bright. He was aware of humans and animals becoming brighter, lit from within, and mostly the only source of color in an otherwise black-and-white world.

Once he discovered the omnipresent bugs stopped paying attention to him, Naruto was even more fond of the technique.

On occasion there were flashes of color in the air and through the ground, but he wasn't at all sure what to make out of those.

The problems with the technique were that he didn't understand what some of the colors and shifts meant. Why was Hinata limned in red, while her sister had flickers of blue going to red? Why did Sakura have similar blue but frequent red? Why did Shikamaru and Choji have red, while Ino looked more blue-green? What WERE the odd lines running through the ground and why did they seem to flow like streams or rivers with sparkling bits of whatever?

Naruto flitted along as best he could. The other problem with the jutsu was that the air itself seemed strangely thick and slowed him down. Breathing was tiring after awhile. On the other hand, not only the bugs but other little nasties lost interest in him. Some reacted to his presence when he came close, but still didn't attack as if something about him made them uncertain.

Maybe he ought to call it 'Shadow Cloak' - that seemed a better name than 'Mask' didn't it? Well, maybe after he'd tweaked it a bit.

The excavation was easy to spot, as were six tents, an old campfire pit, various rocks pulled up near the pit to act as seats or tables. Not far from that was a large dig site with a dome of rock decorated with softly glowing purple eyes?

Naruto kept the jutsu going, letting the chakra flow as he went through the area looking for clues. A chunk of green glowing rock here, a small glowing statuette abandoned about halfway between the dome and the camp.

Then he found a bottle of insect repellent in the camp and had to drop the 'shadow mask' to apply it. At which point he realized that the dome was undecorated in normal sight. Further investigation revealed the statuette was mostly concealed by muck and decidedly not glowing, while the green rock had no glow either.

Applying the anti-bug lotion and breathing a sigh of relief as this stuff actually worked, Naruto wondered what all of that meant.

* * *

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what? Sasuke's got a new outfit?"

"No, Naruto's being considered for Special Jonin."

"Yeah, right. He just made chunin. Actually pretty impressive."

"The free trade agreement between Fire and Wind just went through. Merchants are saying that with the lowered tariffs and this 'favored trade partners' stuff - both countries are going to make buckets of money."

"I like the sound of that, but what's that got to do with the fox br... I mean Naruto?"

"Words up, some of those documents that Naruto supplied from that hidden base? Showed that the daimyo of both countries are actually related if you go far back enough. Not only that, but there are resources in Wind that they didn't know they had that were on a map Naruto got them. Same with our country. Comparing notes, they figured it out and Naruto's name kept coming up. And NOT in a bad way."

"Huh. So the kid did good."

"The 'kid' did a lot better than that. I heard that the Kazekage over there actually smiled when Naruto's name came up."

"Did it crack his face?"

"No, at least I haven't heard that. One of my suppliers from over there though said that half his private guards started checking for genjutsu or a henge."

"So, the kid did really well with that and that rescue operation. Still, 'special jonin'?"

"I was talking to one of the scullery maids over at the Hyuga mansion, she acts as a buyer for the cleaning supplies."

"The one with the, ahem, ba-dumf?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Nice girl too, minor branch family so she's allowed to have a sense of humor. Anyway, what she said was the Hokage has been meeting with the various clan heads. Sounding them out. Seems HIASHI is impressed with the boy."

"Waitaminute. Hiashi Hyuga? Voted 'most likely to have had his humanity surgically removed'? Impressed?"

"Yeah."

"Well, hell, if that Naruto managed to impress Lord High N Mighty, the kid has to be damn genius."

* * *

_Once upon a time there was a ninja whose name was simply Mask. He was well known for his peculiar jutsu, in which he combined fuuinjutsu with various ceramic masks. He would put on the Lion-mask, for example, in order to grow claws and fight with great ferocity. Or the Seadragon-mask for operating underwater. He was very well known for that, and for the method of his death - where he was knifed to death by an exotic dancer in a small dockside tavern in what would become Whirlpool._

Mask's OTHER technique was less well known and was responsible for him being able to get into position for using his mask techniques. That particular technique was the first technique he'd developed himself, and had been a way of submerging his presence into a sort of phase-space. That was called Mask's Shadow Cloak initially but Mask didn't like the length of that and so simply decided to call it Mask's Shadow eventually.

The only place the two techniques had been written down had been in the Sage's complex, part of the project where the Sage would eventually have a repository of all jutsu and then use that to research the fundamental laws that lay underneath jutsu usage.

Unfortunately, the Sage Of Six Paths had been human and had eventually fallen to time and his plans had come to naught.

Until a little black cat, who was really neither but wore that form like a mask, discovered that and saw some irony in bringing those plans back around.

* * *

Naruto knew a little about the technique.

Kamen No Kage, Ninjutsu, B-Rank, Support Type, Range-Self.

He also was figuring out that what he was seeing when wrapped in the technique was not what he was seeing when he wasn't using it.

The dome at the center of the dig was plain rock in normal sight. When 'masked' - it was covered in eye-symbols.

Eventually he went into a tent that was still intact, dropped the technique, then started jotting things down. His findings, a map of the area, sketches of the weird eyes of the dome, and the weird glowy symbols on inside of the fragments of dome that had been near the hole. He gathered everything together, tied it into a tube, then sealed it in a scrap of paper. Naruto summoned the messenger bird, tied the scrap to one leg of said bird, and then stepped out of the tent to release the bird.

Naruto was immediately struck by the sense that he was being watched, but despite remaining alert until the bird had vanished in the distance, never did detect where that feeling was coming from. Once the bird was gone, he slipped back into the tent to turn the Kamen No Kage technique on again.

Then it was time to slip away. There was more information to be gathered.

* * *

"No, it's not like that," mumbled Hinata. It was almost as if being surrounded by other girls and questioned about her relationship was intimidating or something.

"It's not?" asked Sakura. "Why not?"

"You view him more like a big brother?" asked Ino, thinking about it.

"Yes, that's it," agreed Hinata, seizing on the explanation.

Several girls nodded in understanding, looking sympathetic, then flashing Something Else until they quickly covered the expression.

* * *

"Denial is not just a river in Iwa," said Sakura.

"I agree," said Ino, looking amused.

"So," said Yukari Sendo. "I'll give her... up until we start trying for chunin."

"That long?" asked Mizore, raising an eyebrow.

"If she hasn't secured him by then - he's available to anyone," said Yukari, addressing the group. "Agreed?"

"Don't include us in that, we're after Sasuke," stated Ino.

"Yeah, right," said Kurumu. "Sasuke hasn't shown any interest in any of you. Go ahead though. It's more chance for one of us."

"or all of us," muttered Yukari, looking at Moka for a moment.

"What was that?" asked Kurumu.

"Nothing," chirped Yukari.

Kurumu frowned but decided not to pursue it. Not now at least. "One thing. I've heard he's being considered for jonin or special jonin. Genin trying to date a jonin or special jonin? It's a bit much of a gap."

"So? Jonin have been known to marry civilians," said Yukari. "Look at Ino's mom. She ran a flower shop and married one of the elite clan heads."

"That's right!" said Ino, jumping in to defend her mother.

"Agreed then," said Kurumu, smirking as she knew her own abilities would help her own efforts in that regard.

* * *

Kiba sighed from behind the bench he'd chosen to hide behind when he saw the girls approach. What did Naruto have that HE didn't have?

Well, it wasn't any concern of his - was it?

Shikamaru was right. Girls were just troublesome.

* * *

"Hokage-sama! It's been decoded."

"Hmph," said the Hokage, motioning for the two jonin he'd been speaking with to step aside for the moment.

"Here's the map of the site, along with the sketches of items, plus the translation of his written report," said the chunin.

"Very well, let me know if anything else turns up," said the Hokage.

"Sir!" said the chunin, recognizing the dismissal.

"So he's there... what's with the eye-thing?" asked Asuma, frowning as he looked at the sketch.

"Kind of creepy," offered Anko.

"Coming from you, that is particularly concerning," quipped Asuma.

"I know a little biology," said Anko, deciding to ignore Asuma. For now. "Round pupils, slot-pupils, slit pupils, yeah. Then there's stuff like the Sharingan and Byakugan. Nothing I know has triangular pupils."

"Look at the sketch of the dome," said Asuma. "Naruto apparently missed it or you'd think he'd mentioned it, but there's a little extra space there and there."

"So it's actually three eyes repeated," observed the Hokage.

"This statue... what's it of?" asked Anko, turning her attention to those sketches in another corner of the paper. "It's odd."

"Ame-no-Uzume-no-Mikoto," said Asuma. "An early work."

"You're familiar with it?" asked Anko, surprised.

"I've worked with temples," said Asuma, keeping it vague. "The goddess of dawn and revelry who tricked Amaterasu out of hiding in the cave Amano-Iwato."

"So this dome is Amano-Iwato?" asked Anko.

"No," said Asuma. "The inside of the dome from the sketch of this section broken off? Those are wards that priests make to contain evil. Amano-Iwato was warded to keep Amaterasu from hiding in it again."

"So, when's Naruto coming back? Cause I'm getting a really bad feeling about this," offered Anko into the silence following Asuma's comment.

* * *

Even through the gloom of the cloudy sky, Naruto knew when night had fallen. Not only did the lighting go from 'dim' to 'really dark' but he found the missing archaeologists.

That they were all apparently dead but still walking around kind of clued him in that this was not a good thing.

He'd started a few fires, mostly to be able to dry out but also burning some stuff that had looked pretty rancid.

Into the light of those fires had shambled what was left of the investigations team.


End file.
